


I Don't Dance

by jay_girl88



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abused Jensen, Angsty Schmoop, Artist Jensen, Blow Jobs, Dancer Jensen, Evil Sandy, Hand Jobs, Hurt Jensen, Jealous Jared, M/M, Misunderstandings, Protective Chris, Protective Danneel, Protective Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-23
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-05 20:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 37,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4193796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jay_girl88/pseuds/jay_girl88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Fate brings us to our soul-mate in the strangest ways. The trick is fighting for that love...and sometimes, that means dancing, even if Jared Padalecki really, seriously, DOES NOT DANCE.</p>
<p>Until he does. </p>
<p>Will it be enough, or will outside forces doom his fairy tale love before it really starts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love at first sight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [j2_is_life](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=j2_is_life).



> This is a birthday present for j2_is_life, someone who stuck with me through a lot! You were there when I first started posting to this site, hon, and for that, I love ya! <3 <3
> 
> Happy late birthday, lovely!
> 
> On account of this story taking on a life of its own, it will have about three parts to it! Enjoy!

~*Jared*~

He was beautiful.

That was the only coherent and vaguely discernible thought that Jared Padalecki could make out from the white noise that suddenly filled his head.

To think he hadn’t wanted to come here.

Jared was an auditor; your typically successful, hard-working suit-and-tie guy, living a lie every day by doing work he hated with a passion. All he really wanted to do with his life was write novels, but like his dad had once told him, his name in print would do nothing to keep him in a relationship if that name wasn’t on a pay check. 

Looking at his long-time girlfriend, Sandy, it seemed his father had hit the nail on the head.

Sandy had been his girlfriend since they met sophomore year in college. She was smart, and funny, and gorgeous…and in a word, ambitious. It was Sandy who pushed him towards the numbers game, saying that they needed to invest in their future by getting, quote unquote, a job that actually paid. He was meek as a kitten against her pleading tones and combined with his parents’ pushing to move forward in life, he had caved easily. Sandy was always like that, and most days, Jared could forget the way her pushing and constant demand for lavish attention irked at him. It wasn’t that he didn’t love spoiling her; it was more that nothing he thought of was near the remote region of good enough, and frankly, that got a bit tiring. As it was, Sandy was moaning at him all the way to their Mix-It-Up dance class, another one of Sandy’s ideas that she’d pulled, pushed and maneuvered Jared into. Jared couldn’t dance to save his life, and was dreading the stupid class, and his nerves clashed with Sandy’s constant barrage of complaints in a way that gave him a massive headache. He was brushing a leaf off his shirt and inwardly cursing at himself for letting Sandy talk him into this…

…and that was when Jared saw _him._

The most beautiful person he’d ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. His head shut down, blocking out every single noise, as he took in the gracefully arched feet, the lean, taut, muscular form, small waist, and broad shoulders. His eyes traveled further upwards, reveling in the sharp cut of his jaw, his full and pouty lips, the greenest eyes Jared had ever seen framed by ridiculously long lashes a shade lighter than the soft, dirty blonde spikes of hair that seemed artfully mussed to perfection. And Jesus Christ on grilled cheese, the man had _freckles_ adorning his face.

Jared wondered if it was within social etiquette to start counting freckles with one’s tongue. He quickly decided that it wasn’t, but that it really ought to be.

“Are you even listening to me, Jared?”

Sandy’s testy voice drifted into his awareness, and Jared jerked, responding instinctively. “Yes, Sands. I’m sorry.”

And wasn’t it sad that even after not listening to what his girlfriend was saying, that was the right response?

“Alright everybody!” Jared’s eyes snapped back to the angel in the front of the room, chest tightening with a foreign feeling as the whiskey smooth drawl lit up his nerve endings. “Welcome to Mix-It-Up! My name’s Jensen, and I’m going to be your instructor for the next five weeks.”

Maybe the dance class wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

“Why don’t we get to know a little more about each other before we start?” the angel- _Jensen_ \- smiled brightly, making Jared’s heart stutter. “Let’s start at the left and move right, okay?” he pointed at a brunette man to Jared’s far left and grinned invitingly. 

And no, that sharp twist of fire in his gut was _so_ not jealousy that the smile-of-the-Gods hadn’t been aimed at him.

“Hi guys,” the man waved sheepishly. “I’m Zach, and this is my girlfriend Yvonne. I’m a tech analyst and a complete geek.”

Chuckles came around the room when the blond on his arm elbowed him lightly. “I’m Yvonne, as my boyfriend mentioned,” she smiled self-consciously. “I’m a waitress at Subway and a recreational boxer.”

Jensen chuckled, and Jared basked in the rumbling, deep, open sound. “You better not step on her toes, man,” he warned Zach good-naturedly, earning another few chuckles. 

“I’m Misha,” the next guy volunteered chirpily, without needing prompting. “And you, fair dance instructor, are a living Greek God.” 

Jensen blushed scarlet and Jared burned at the blatant display, his mood darkening with a possessiveness he couldn’t begin to comprehend. He hadn’t even gotten this jealous when guys bought Sandy drinks, and yet here he was, wanting to tackle a man because he’d complimented the angel that Jared had known for the same amount of time that Misha had. 

“Thank you, Misha,” Jensen ran his hand through his hair with an embarrassed grin. “I think I speak for everyone when I say that we should move on to the next person.” Jensen softened his retort with a small smile, which Misha serenely returned. Jared immediately decided he didn’t like him.

The introductions went on, working their way slowly to where Jared and Sandy stood. As soon as Jensen’s impossibly green eyes locked on to his own, and that blinding smile was sent at him, Jared lost his power of speech. 

“I’m Sandy,” his girlfriend spoke up, sending him a look of irritation before facing the room again with a smile. “This is my boyfriend Jared. We’re here to spend quality time together.”

The room burst into aww’s, but Jared’s eyes were glued to Jensen’s still, and he could swear the glint in the vibrant green had dulled significantly.

“I have two left feet,” he blurted out unthinkingly, wanting to try anything to get a smile on his angel’s face again. 

It worked. Jensen blinked, then threw his head back and burst out laughing. Jared grinned dopily, not caring about Sandy’s death glare as he relished in the way Jensen laughed; deep and without abandon. 

“Then you’re at the right place, Jared,” Jensen chuckled, sending another warm smile at him. His insides twisted pleasurably at the smile that seemed just for a moment to be just for him. He was all but dismissive of the glare Sandy was sporting, since it was far outshone by the warmth in Jensen’s breath-taking face. His eyes widened as he registered the thought in his head.

Fuck.

Jared was screwed.

 

~*Jensen*~

 

It was with profound reluctance that Jensen Ackles tore his eyes away from the man. Tall and muscular, he’d initially fought the urge to take a step back when Jared had walked in, but that initial hesitation came crumbling away when the soft, hazel-eyed man had spontaneously declared his inability to dance.

Jensen hadn’t laughed like that in a long time- give or take 3 years, actually- and it was incredible that one man could inspire that effect in him. Jared resembled an eager puppy, and Jensen wanted nothing more than to talk to him, but even if he didn’t have a class, Jensen had more than enough reasons to stay the hell away from the mouth-wateringly gorgeous man.

For one, Jensen may have been a lot of things in his life, but a home-wrecker was and always would be something he was not. Jared was with the beautiful girl at his side, and Jensen was not about to do anything to change that.

For another thing, Jensen was…damaged goods. It was a difficult truth to face, but one he had to nonetheless, and while he knew his friends wouldn’t agree with his view, it didn’t change the fact that Jensen was scarred. Not broken yet, he liked to think, but scarred. And Jared didn’t deserve to have to deal with that. Jared deserved a lot better than him. 

He deserved the woman he had, the white-picket fence and the 2.5 kids. 

Not damaged little Jensen with the shadows haunting his days and the nightmares chasing him in sleep.

 

~*Jared*~

 

“Alright guys, let’s start with some warm-up,” Jensen called out, and despite the knowledge that his girlfriend was right there, Jared swooned once more at the man’s incredible voice. 

Like everything about the man wasn’t fucking incredible.

Jared cleared his throat, flushing with desire. What was wrong with him? He’d known the man 15 minutes, tops- and by known, he meant known his name and that he was undoubtedly an angel that fell from heaven- and already, he wanted the whole nine yards. Conveniently forgetting his girlfriend, who he was currently 6 yards in with.

He turned his attention to said girlfriend as the music started up. It was an up-tempo beat that was fun and fast, and although Jared had perfected his head-bop move, he doubted that would fly in this class. 

“Okay,” Jensen clapped his hands together twice. “I want you guys to just dance free flow for a little bit, I want to see your rhythm and the way you feel the beat first.”

A couple people swayed on the spot, shooting anxious glances at one another, each of them clearly waiting for the people around them to dance first. Jensen chuckled, and Jared focused his attention on the sound.

“Wow, this is gonna be fun,” Jensen grinned teasingly at them, and Jared was disappointed when he didn’t meet his eyes. “Would it make you guys feel any better if I started?” Jensen asked gently, turning down the music so he could be heard.

There was a smattering of agreement amongst them, and Jensen took a measured breath, nodding thoughtfully. “Alright clear up some space up front here, please.”

Jensen flicked on the player again, and Jared recognized the tune as Robin Thicke’s _Everything I Can’t Have._

_How apt_ , Jared thought with a grimace. Although Jensen was the very definition, Jared found that made him want the man even more. Never before had he felt this bone-deep attraction and connection to someone, and he’d had his share of men and women. Jensen was…different.

He wore a gentle smile and Jared watched as the music took over Jensen’s body, making the green eyes close and those tantalizing hips start to slowly move in a sensual beat. 

Jensen’s eyes popped open, and they were vibrant and sparkling, taking Jared’s breath away. A confidence that he hadn’t had before now spread over Jensen, making his back straighten and his body move with calculated comfort and ease.

“My favorite,” Jensen proclaimed, starting to really dance. He shimmied in perfect sync to the beat, as though he were dancing with a partner, swaying with hypnotic grace. He switched up seamlessly into a cross-step hip hop move, crossing the room to where Yvonne stood, and upon receiving a nod from Zach, Jensen grabbed her hand and swung her into the box of his arms, coaxing her to move with him.

Jared had never before wished to be a blond-haired woman. 

Spinning her out just as quickly, Jensen moved next to Misha, his hips constantly shaking so every move looked like he was dancing. He wordlessly demonstrated a move, crossing his feet slowly in front of each other before moving back in the same pattern, and waited until Misha did it with him, earning himself a round of applause from the now applauding class. 

Jensen moved to each of them like that, bright smiles and patient demonstrations, always soothing and never out of breath, all the while dancing in a way that made Jared want to press up against him with every move. He wondered whether Jensen noticed, whether that was his intent, but with every move he made, the class began dancing more and more, some trying to imitate him, and others just dancing unthinkingly where they stood. He watched as Jensen dipped Sandy quickly, making her giggle, and he jerked with surprise when he found he felt no jealousy, except maybe a little to Sandy for getting to dance up close with Jensen.

Jensen, who was now next to him.

Jared felt like a deer in the headlights, even more so when Jensen didn’t make eye contact with him. He felt a brief moment of panic that included vivid daydreams about falling on his ass in front of who may or may not be the man of his dreams, when suddenly a warm hand cupped his hip.

Jensen was in front of him now, his palm on Jared’s side burning a hole through his thin shirt. Still, Jensen refused to look at him, but Jared heard the soft murmur over the music.

“Okay, Jared, just relax. Left foot out, and back, right foot out, and back, just follow me.” Jared fumbled for a second, lost in the proximity and the heat that suddenly enveloped his body, but painstakingly, he followed Jensen’s feet movement, feeling like an awkward and gangly teenager again. “You’re doing great,” Jensen spoke soothingly, making Jared beam. “Now just move your hips a little with it,” he instructed, squeezing with his palm lightly, before letting go. Unconsciously, Jared mirrored Jensen’s actions, and sure enough, albeit not as gracefully and as effortlessly as Jensen was, he was dancing! He huffed a small laugh of delight as the class clapped as Jensen came to stand next to him again, doing the move with him. As the song started its last chorus, Jensen took a few steps forward before sliding on his knees the rest of the way back to the middle of the room. He got up with a roll of his hips, effortlessly at the end of his move, and as the music quickened to get to the end, he performed a complicated series of moves, twisting and turning and jerking his body as though his joints weren’t connected, looking as elegant as a jungle cat. The class watched on in slack-jawed awe and Jensen, oblivious to the reaction as he was lost in the music, ended his routine with a quick double spin on the balls of his feet.

As soon as the music stopped, the class burst into applause, cheers and whistles, all of them excited and on a high, both after seeing Jensen dance, and from being a small part of his routine. Jensen blushed where he stood, confidence leaking away with the music. 

“Thanks guys,” he smiled sheepishly, waving them down. “And here’s the bet. I’m going to have all of you doing the same thing by the end of these classes.”

“I’ll take that bet,” a brunette girl- Hayley, if Jared remembered right- grinned. “Loser buys the class pizza.”

Jensen threw his head back in a laugh. “Deal,” he nodded, eyes sparkling in amusement. “Now, let’s get divided into pairs, and we’ll start off with a simple, temped up version of the box-step, okay?”

Jensen took a slug of water while they arranged themselves, and it took Jared a herculean effort to watch Sandy instead of the bob he imagined the water sliding down Jensen’s throat would make. Which led inevitably to thoughts of what else Jensen could take into his throat that would inspire that response. Fuck.

“So,” Jensen called over them, “it’s basically the same step I did with Jared,” Jared beamed at the knowledge, bouncing on his toes a little, “except this time, you’re doing it with a partner.” Jensen held out his hands, left palm flat and open, raised and facing outwards, and the right hand curled sideways near his hip. “Guys, this is your position. Girls, hold you partners’ left hand here,” he wiggled the fingers of his left hand, “and guys, grip your partner’s waist with your right hand.” He one again wiggled the fingers in question.

Jared gripped Sandy the way Jensen demonstrated, trying to push away thoughts of what Jensen’s waist would feel like under his fingers. The man was undeniably built and toned, but he had this tiny waist, that Jared was sure he could wrap his arm all the way around. 

Would it be wrong to test that theory?

Before he could convince himself that it would be okay, Jensen was moving, demonstrating the first steps they were going to take. It pretty much mirrored what Jensen had taught him just then, so one would think it would have been a breeze for Jared to do it again, with Sandy.

So not the case.

“Let’s try it with some music,” Jensen suggested, making his way towards the sound dock, “and ladies, remember that you’re doing the mirror opposite to your counterparts. Let them lead, but know where you’re going too.”

He fiddled with the buttons until Eric Carmen’s _Hungry eyes_ came on. Jared snorted with the rest of the class, and Jensen grinned at them all. 

“Tease me all you want,” he chuckled, “but Swayze had this part right. The flow of this beat, slow and sensual, it’s the best way to learn how to dance with a partner.” He started dancing slowly once more, facing them, a gentle lead into getting going. He nodded encouragingly at them, but still avoided eye-contact with Jared, and now he had to face the possibility that there was a reason for that…

“Ugh! Jared!” 

His girlfriend’s snappy voice cut through his train of thought. Sandy was glaring at him, hands on her hips. “What?” he asked, baffled.

“You took a step back when _I_ was supposed to take a step back!” she bit off irritably, making Jared blush with embarrassment. “Are you seriously so thick that you can’t get a step right that you were taught before everyone else?”

Jared flushed a deep crimson. He was so sure that Sandy’s foot had to come forward there…he was doing it the way Jensen had shown him…and now he’d made a gigantic fool of himself in front of Jens…um, _Sandy_. In front of Sandy.

“There’s no need for that.” The deep, soft whiskey drawl came over them, not loud enough to create a scene, but loud enough to be heard, with a hint of steel behind it. Jensen looked pointedly at Sandy, a flash of hardness in his emerald eyes. “Dancing is a partnership, it takes two people. It’s about working together as a unit, and becoming one person, and you can’t do that by putting the other person down or belittling them. Frankly, it isn’t something I tolerate in my class, either.”

Sandy blushed fiercely, and Jared thought in the back of his mind that maybe he ought to try to defend her actions, but the dominant emotion in him was a gushing warmth that Jensen was bothering to stand up for him. 

“Besides, I think Jared had it right, even though he was a little stiff,” Jensen said, almost absently, standing next to Sandy and imitating her moves, switching to the girl’s part of the dance flawlessly. “Yep,” he nodded. “ _You_ were supposed to take a step forward, Jared was _right_ to step back. I think you owe your boyfriend an apology.” There was a small, almost bitter ghost of a smile on Jensen’s face as he walked away. “Good job, Jared,” he added over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry for snapping, honey pie,” Sandy simpered at him.

Jared hummed distractedly. If anyone had asked, he doubted whether he could confirm that she’d apologized or not, because at that moment? All he could see was the hypnotic way that Jensen walked, and all he could hear, was a honey-smooth voice saying his name.

 

~*Jensen*~

 

“That’s it for today, guys, great job,” Jensen clapped, complimenting his group of sweaty, out of breath dancers. He grinned, knowing how difficult it was to keep up when you first started. “Same time this Friday, y’all take care.”

He busied himself wiping the light sheen of sweat from his neck and just underneath his collarbone. He handled the non-stop dancing better, having been doing it so long, but 50 minutes without stopping was still enough to break out a small amount of sweat. He grabbed his water bottle, tilting his head to drink deeply and mentally sighing in relief, congratulating himself on not getting too close to the Greek God Jared during the lesson.

“You have a slightly Texan lilt to your voice.”

Jensen spluttered, choking on his water as he jumped several feet into the air at the voice that materialized at his ear. For a split second he thought it was…

No. It wasn’t him. It was Jared.

Jensen clutched his chest, trying to get his heart rate under control. _Not him_ , he chanted inwardly, _it’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not him._

“…so fucking sorry, I’m a total spaz,” Jared was blabbering, face red and eyes wide. Jensen felt like he’d kicked a puppy, looking into his hurt eyes.

“Calm down, Jared,” he cleared his throat, speaking hoarsely. “I’m the one who’s sorry, really,” Jensen smiled sheepishly, casting his eyes downwards in an attempt to hide from the far-too-adorable man in front of him. “You just shocked me, is all. No harm, no foul.”

“Are ya sure?” Jared asked skeptically, leaning down a little to try to catch Jensen’s eyes. Reluctantly, the dancer raised his face and forced himself to look directly into those captivating, hazel eyes. 

“I’m sure, Jared,” he assured him, smiling hesitantly. “And yeah, I’m from Texas. Dallas, actually. Born and bred, moved here about 6 years ago.”

“Me too!” Jared grinned, bouncing on his feet a little, eyes sparkling once more. “San Antonio. I moved here 4 years ago. Hey, where’d you learn to dance the way you do?”

“I always loved to dance,” Jensen shrugged self-consciously, turning around to tuck his bottle away as he spoke. Anything, not to look into those magical eyes again. “It was one of the only times I felt truly comfortable. I picked it up as a way to de-stress. Never stopped, I guess.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Jared commented, sounding genuine as he came to perch on the bench that Jensen’s stuff was lying on. The boy seemed intent on the whole eye-contact thing. “You’re a really good teacher.”

Jensen couldn’t help flushing at the compliment. “Thanks,” he muttered, feeling his chest burn up with attraction. _Girlfriend!_ He reminded himself harshly. _He has a girlfriend!_ “What happened to your girl?” he asked, deliberately casual, feeling the need to remind Jared of the brunette.

Jared flinched, an odd expression crossing his face. “She went home. I have to drop off some files at the office before I go, and she wanted to get back.”

“Do you have a ride?” Jensen asked, concern making his brow furrow. _Only because Jared was in his class_ , he defended internally. 

“I was about to call my buddy Chad, he works with me,” Jared nodded. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Great, okay,” Jensen nodded, switching out the music in his dock to another flash drive.

“You’re staying here a while?” Jared flicked his head at the dock questioningly.

Jensen nodded again, absently getting to the right track. “I have another class. For ages 7 through 12.”

“Cute,” Jared grinned, and Jensen bristled slightly at the unintentionally condescending remark.

“I wouldn’t sound so dismissive,” he arched his eyebrow, his voice just this side of testy. “My kids could dance circles around anyone.”

Jared’s eyebrows shot up as he held both hands, palms up, in a gesture of peace. “I didn’t…okay, I just heard how that sounded in my head,” Jared winced. “I’m sorry, I just meant that it was a cute thought, you interacting with little kids and them dancing. Not their dancing, per se, just that they’re so little, and cute, and then them dancing, that would be cute, also.” Jared babbled, making Jensen smile. 

“It’s okay,” Jensen interrupted when he saw Jared take a breath to start again. He shut his mouth with a clack, grinning ruefully at Jensen. “I’m just really protective over my kids.”

“That’s cu…sweet,” Jared amended quickly, shooting him a bright smile, flashing those dimples in a way that made Jensen lose control. Thankfully, loud chatter from the doors distracted him, and he turned around to see his kids running through the door.

“No running guys, you might fa… _oomph_!” Jensen’s sentence was stopped halfway by the first little girl that reached him, who launched herself into him, throwing her arms around his waist. He caught her reflexively, laughing as more of his students threw themselves into the hug. “I missed you guys, too,” he grinned, trying to wrap his arms around the expanding group. “Come on, I’ve got your music ready, let’s get into position and start a warm-up, rugrats! Last one to position has to dance a solo at the end of the lesson.”

He chuckled as the kids rushed to their designated places. Being that they were a larger group of smaller people, he had decided during their first lesson to assign them places, to make sure no one was blocked, and that they weren’t close enough to accidentally hurt one another.

“That’s my cue,” he turned to face Jared, keeping his eyes on a spot just above his right shoulder. “I’ll see you on Friday, Jared.”

“Great,” Jared bobbed his head happily. “Oh, and Jensen?”

“Mm?”

Jared picked up his towel and ran the corner of it down the side of his neck, the proximity making him shiver. 

“You missed a spot.”

Fuck it, he was so screwed.

 

~*Jared*~

 

Jared’s hand tingled from where he’d pressed it against the skin of Jensen’s neck. He hadn’t been able to help himself; Jensen’s shy demeanor, his blatant unawareness of how hot he was, the way he was with those kids, so protective and the way they threw themselves at him…all of it just compounded to Jared’s desire. He wanted Jensen, so much that it threw him for a loop. He’d never experienced this kind of skin-too-tight, body-too-hot lust that promised him insanity if he didn’t satiate it soon.

He walked out of the studio as though in a daze, high off Jensen. It was only when he was standing outside that he realized he’d left his phone and the files in the car. 

The car that Sandy had driven home.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, patting his pockets in the hopes of finding change, to no avail. His face burned hot as he realized that he might have to take Jensen up on that offer of a ride, or at the very least, borrow the man’s phone. 

Jared took the stairs two at a time, but came to a crushing halt when he saw Jensen come outside the room with an elderly woman and a little girl, who stood tearfully at the woman’s side.

It was definitely not spying, even if Jared ducked behind a corner to listen in.

“Hey Mrs. Harding,” Jensen greeted the woman casually, before dropping to his haunches in front of the sniffling girl. “Hey there, Annabeth…why aren’t you in there dancing with us, darlin’?” he asked softly, gently.

“I’m so sorry, Jensen,” the woman answered quietly, her voice hesitant and embarrassed and pained. “I don’t…I can’t make…the um, the payments for Annabeth’s classes, I…”

The little girl burst into renewed tears, clutching at, presumably, her grandmother’s leg as she tried to hide away. Jared’s heart broke, and he immediately wondered how to go about offering to pay the little girl’s fees, without making it look like charity, lest he offend the woman.

Before Jared could figure out the best way to make his presence known, Jensen dropped to sit down cross-legged on the floor. Holding out a finger to indicate she should stop and sending a small smile to the grandmother, Jensen waited patiently until Annabeth peeked around her grandmother’s skirt, hiccuping sadly. 

As soon as she did, Jensen held out both his arms in a silent invitation. With a sniffle, the little girl launched herself into his arms, and he deftly maneuvered her into his lap, rocking her from side to side and murmuring soothing words to the distressed girl. Jared ached to find a way to make her stop crying, but as it turned out, he didn’t have to.

“Annabeth, darlin’, look at me,” Jensen murmured gently, angling the little girl’s face away from his neck, where she’d buried it. She looked up at him, and even from where he stood, Jared could see the adoration and love and trust Annabeth felt when she looked at Jensen, shining brightly in her eyes through the child-like hurt.

“Y-Yes, Mr. J-Jensen?”

“Darlin’, I think I’m the one to blame here,” Jensen said seriously, his face grave. “I don’t think I told your Grandma the cost of the class right.”

“W-What’s the cost?” Annabeth asked, her breath hitching as hope built slightly in her big brown eyes. Jared wondered, intrigued, where Jensen was going with this.

“It’s something only you can pay,” Jensen warned. “Your Grandma can’t pay for you.”

“But I don’t have any money, Mr. Jensen,” Annabeth whispered, leaning into Jensen’s hand as he oh-so-carefully wiped her tears away.

“Pft, don’t be silly, Anna B,” Jensen teased, tweaking her nose and eliciting a small giggle at the nickname. “The cost of this class isn’t money. To pay for them, I have to see one, gorgeous, big bright Anna-B-smile every single class. Do you think you could pay that?” Jensen asked solemnly, eyes wide, ignoring the hitching intake of breath and the tears now streaming from the older woman’s eyes. 

Annabeth nodded vigorously, her curls bouncing as she did. “Yea, Mr. Jensen, I c’n do that, I can smile!”

“Oh, excellent,” Jensen heaved a big sigh of relief, putting his hand to his heart. Jared watched the exchange with disbelieving awe, feeling his chest tighten with an emotion he couldn’t identify. “I would have hated to lose one of my best dancers! Now what are you still doing here? Get in there and get dancing, Missy! You’ve nearly missed the entire warm-up!”

Annabeth threw her arms around Jensen’s neck, squealing happily, before giving her grandmother an equally enthusiastic hug and running into the studio. Jensen smiled at the other woman as he heaved himself back to his feet, dusting his jeans absently.

“Jensen, I can’t possibly…” the woman started hesitantly.

“No, Mrs. H, I couldn’t possibly,” Jensen interrupted her gently. “I couldn’t possibly accept any money from you. Annabeth is a wonderful little girl, she’s so talented and sweet. This is the absolute least I could do. I know what it feels like to be where you are, Mam.” Jensen took her hand in his, green eyes earnest and clear. “Let me do this, if not for you then for your beautiful little granddaughter.” He chuckled slightly. “She reminds me of my little sister at that age.”

The woman seemed beyond words, wiping at her tears and nodding, the overwhelming gratitude shining through eyes the exact same shade as Annabeth’s. 

“Please, promise to call me if you or Annabeth ever need anything,” Jensen added, handing the woman a handkerchief from his pocket. “Anything at all.”

“I promise,” the woman rasped, patting Jensen’s cheek, her eyes projecting the same sort of gratitude her granddaughter’s did. Jensen rubbed her back soothingly, smiling softly. “I can’t believe there are still people like you in the world,” she smiled at him, dabbing at her eyes.

“I’m just happy to help, Mam,” Jensen insisted. “You take care now, Mrs. H, and I’ll call you if I hear of any job openings.”

An idea slammed into Jared, and convincing himself that jumping Jensen was a bad idea, he emerged from his hiding spot, trying to make it look like he’d been walking all along, and just caught the tail end of the conversation. 

“Job opening for what?” he asked amicably, smiling innocently at them. The woman blushed deeply, and Jared mentally rebuked himself for his total lack of decorum. “I only ask because a place in admin opened up a couple days ago at the firm where I work. I’ll be happy to arrange an interview if you’d like, Mam?”

The woman seemed overwhelmed once more, cautious hope radiating off her. “You don’t even know me.”

“Jensen does,” Jared flicked his thumb at his sexy dance instructor, who was watching him carefully, scrutinizing him with shrewd eyes. “That’s enough for me.”

“I…uh, I would love that,” the woman breathed faintly, nodding. She cleared her throat, straightening. “I would love if you could arrange that, please, Mr…”

“Call me Jared,” Jared grinned brightly, flashing his dimples. 

“I’ll leave you two to exchange details,” Jensen smiled, “I need to get back to my kids.”

Jared nodded before aiming his smile at the woman again. “I don’t have my cell phone on me, but why don’t you go ahead and ring me, so I’ll have your number under the caller ID?” He rattled off his cell number and smiled as she let it ring twice, before cutting off. Promising to call her as soon as he set things up, she left, and he hovered at the entrance to the studio, not wanting to interrupt Jensen as he taught.

He was patient and gentle, relating to the kids on a level Jared was in awe of. The right amount of playful and firm, he was always treating them like grown-ups while subtly maintaining that parental air. 

And here Jared was thinking that the man couldn’t possibly be more perfect.

So engrossed in watching Jensen, he barely noticed the time fly by, and he jerked in shock when Jensen wrapped up the lesson and parents suddenly appeared to fetch their kids, shooting him distrustful glances.

“Alright, kids, I’ll see you this time Friday,” Jensen grinned, more prepared for the hug attack that came at him that time. “Go on, scooch, your parents are waiting.” Jensen frowned, perplexed when he saw Jared standing awkwardly there, trying to hide from the blatant stares he was receiving. “Jared?”

Like magic, all the gazes cleared up, and a few smiles were even directed at him now. It seemed that Jensen knowing someone was good enough for everyone today. Looking at his instructor, Jared grinned sheepishly. “I forgot my phone and the files in the car Sandy drove home in.”

Jensen threw his head back and laughed, the sound magical and open and after hearing it a second time, Jared was now convinced that it was the most gorgeous sound he had heard in his lifetime. The man threw his whole body into the laugh, and Jared was struck dumb momentarily, coaching himself on remembering how to breathe. 

“So you waited my entire lesson?” Jensen chuckled, green eyes sparkling as he looked at Jared, seeming to forget the way he was avoiding eye contact earlier. “Why not just walk in?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “You really are a terrific teacher.”

The sexy dance instructor flushed again, the same way he did when Jared first complimented him, as though he couldn’t believe it, but really wanted to. It was hot as all hell, and Jared fought against the primal urge to shove Jensen up against the wall and have his wicked way with him. He pointedly ignored the other part of him that was rallying to take Jensen in his arms, tuck him up against his chest, and never let him go. The thought of wanting anything more than rough hot monkey sex from Jensen…while he was with Sandy…it wasn’t something Jared was equipped to deal with.

“Thank you,” Jared made himself focus on Jensen as he started talking. “You want me to give you a ride?”

He had to swallow hard- twice- to get rid of the dirty image of Jensen on his lap, bouncing and riding him like the Kentucky fucking Derby, since he was fairly certain his dancing instructor meant that question in a non-sexual way.

“That’d be great, please,” he finally managed to rasp out. Jensen shot him a confused look before nodding, gesturing with his head for Jared to follow him. 

They headed around back and Jared’s mouth dropped in surprise when he saw the Impala parked in all its shining glory on the curb. 

“You like?” Jensen grinned, a sparkle in his eyes as he shed some of his self-consciousness. It seemed the car was something he was comfortable talking about. “She’s my Baby.” He ran a loving hand over the roof as he walked to the driver’s side. 

“Beautiful,” Jared nodded, opening the door carefully and admiring the perfectly maintained interior and original leather upholstery. “She’s a ’67, isn’t she?”

“Impressive,” Jensen arched an eyebrow. “You’ve got good taste, Jared.”

The taller man folded himself into the front seat, grinning to himself as he inwardly thrilled to the sound of his name on Jensen’s perfect, pouty lips, before promptly chastising himself for acting like a 12-year old girl.

Jared hummed happily as the smooth purr of the engine came to life. Jensen grinned at him, and damn it, that was _not_ butterflies in his fucking stomach.

“So,” Jensen turned his attention to the road as he smoothly angled the car out of its parking bay. “You wanna tell me why you were listening in on my conversation with Mrs. H and her granddaughter?” Jared gaped at him, and Jensen cleared his throat. “I saw your shadow when you ducked out of sight.”

Jared flinched, feeling only marginally better at the smirk Jensen sent his way. “I didn’t intend to,” he defended weakly, and Jensen chuckled.

“It’s okay,” he assured Jared, absently turning down the volume on the music. “It was awesome, what you did for her. Thank you for that.”

His face burned even as a dopey smile took over. “It was my pleasure,” he answered honestly. “And it’s no more awesome than what you did for that little girl. That was amazing.”

Jensen eased to a stop at a red light, turning to face him slightly. “So, how long’s it gonna take you to set up this fake job for Mrs H?” he asked, green eyes sharp and shrewd. “Because I know it isn’t as cut and dry as an opening falling into her lap. You’re making up a job for her, aren’t you?”

Blinking slowly, Jared tried to figure out what gave his entire game away. “How’d you know?”

Jensen chuckled lightly, leaning back in his seat. “You gave her your personal number, not a work number. And also, good things don’t just happen just like that.”

It felt like someone had drenched him in ice water. What business did this gorgeous, talented, kind-hearted man have thinking so cynically? Who had hurt him? “It’s better than her getting some job that’ll have her worked to the bone with minimal wage,” he reasoned carefully. “But I beg to differ. Good things happen all the time.”

“I’m glad you’re doing this for her,” Jensen spoke softly, gratitude in his voice. “I can’t thank you enough.”

Jared’s heart ached at Jensen’s disregard of his other point, about good things happening all the time. Someone had definitely hurt the angel in front of him…and Jared intended on finding out who, telling himself over and over that the burning anger inside him at the thought of someone hurting Jensen was born solely from righteous fury.

Definitely. Really. Truly.

So absorbed in his thoughts, it puzzled Jared when Jensen turned into his neighborhood. 

“How’d you know I lived around here?” he asked in bemusement. The tips of Jensen’s ears turned pink and he looked down, chagrined.

“You shook off a leaf when you came into class,” he muttered, a flush creeping up his throat. “It smelt like cough drops…Eucalyptus leaves are the only leaves that smell like that. And this is the only neighborhood that has Eucalyptus trees along the sidewalk.”

Jared blinked owlishly. “Jesus, Jen, that’s impressive,” he whistled under his breath, the nickname coming out without thinking. “Your deduction skills…you’re like Sherlock Holmes.”

Jensen snorted indelicately. “Hardly. Well, that’s where my sleuthing ends, my dear Watson. You gotta tell me which place is yours.”

Jared grinned and quickly directed him, wondering how on earth he could be getting turned on just hearing how smart Jensen was and witnessing the man’s keen eye and fascinating observation skills. It was ridiculous! 

Jared tried to ignore the stab of unhappiness he felt as Jensen pulled up in front of his and Sandy’s apartment building. Racking his brain, he tried to think of any possible reason to spend more time with Jensen, ignoring the little voice inside him that screamed that it was a bad idea to get emotionally attached to Jensen.

“Hey Jen, would you maybe consider giving me extra dance lessons?” he blurted out unthinkingly. “I’m hopeless, and I’d like to, uh…you know, not look like an idiot in front of everyone.”

Jensen frowned slightly, even as his emerald eyes softened. “Don’t say that,” he chided gently. “You don’t look like an idiot. And you’re supposed to be a little hopeless,” he teased, nudging Jared playfully. “Else I’d have no use in the class. If it means that much to you though…why not meet me an hour before every lesson?”

“How about for an hour after your kids’ lesson?” Jared suggested hopefully. “If it’s not too much trouble. Although, I mean, you probably have stuff to do, and…”

“If you don’t mind waiting for the kids to finish,” Jensen overrode his words with a patient smile, “then that works great for me.”

“Okay,” Jared bobbed his head happily. “Okay.” His happiness abruptly deflated as he remembered the girlfriend he still had, in the apartment they still shared.

“Goodnight, Jared,” Jensen smiled, eyes sad even as his lips forced themselves upwards. “I’ll see you Friday.”

“Night Jen,” he returned, trying to get a more genuine smile in return by grinning brightly at the man. It seemed, though, that Jensen was back to avoiding eye contact, and Jared sighed inwardly at the dilemma he found himself in.

Feeling like a prisoner on death row cheated of his last meal, Jared trudged up the sidewalk and took the stairs, instead of the elevator, trying to delay getting to their 3rd floor apartment. Sandy scowled at him when he finally got there, ranting on about missing her favorite TV show because Chad had come to collect the files himself, and she’d had to rummage in the car for them.

“There was this elderly woman,” he offered suddenly, interrupting Sandy’s tirade. “She couldn’t afford to pay for her granddaughter’s dance class. Jensen does a kiddies’ dance class straight after ours.”

Sandy’s eyes softened and she laid a hand on Jared’s shoulder, leaning in to kiss him lightly. 

“You’re too soft, Jare,” she shook her head. “We can’t help everyone, as much as you might want to. It’s a rough deal for them, but it isn’t our problem. Those classes are still a business, so if they can’t pay, then Jensen can take another kid who can. That’s the way the world works.”

As she busied herself trying to find something on TV to watch, Jared realized with harsh certainty.

His relationship with Sandy was over well before he’d met Jensen Ackles. It was just finding the man that made him realize what he was missing out on every day he kept his head buried in the sand and stayed with her. 

“Sandy…” he intoned softly, leaning forward in his seat. The rational part of his brain urged him to think things through- who dumped their college sweetheart and steady girlfriend for a man they knew all of 3 hours? – but his heart overrode all of that, recognized Jensen as his in a way no logic could ever explain. If Jared were waxing poetical, he’d say that he met his soul mate, because damn if the mind-numbing sparks with Jensen wasn’t everything he’d written about since he first delved into the world of fiction. The writer in him urged him to take the leap…and how could he not? “Sandy. We need to talk.”

###


	2. Not A Big Deal (Until It Really Is)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick warning for some violence and some hot times ;-)

~*Jensen*~

Jensen panted harshly, his hands on his knees as he gulped in hungry breaths. The moonlight cast a dull shine around him as he collapsed on to his back, pressing his palms against his eyes as he fought to breathe normally again.

“Jensen!” 

The dancer shot bolt upright as his best friend’s alarmed cry reached his ears. Still gasping, he scrambled to his knees, searching Christian Kane’s body for signs of injury and puzzling when he found none.

“Chris, are you okay?” he asked worriedly, sucking in another deep lungful of air.

Chris growled at him, stalking over and smacking him upside the head. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

“Me?!” Jensen yelped indignantly, hand coming up to rub at the sting on the back of his head. “I’m not the one randomly shouting out and Gibbs’ smacking my best friend!”

“You deserved it,” Chris shot back, sinking to the floor next to him. Jensen flopped back on to his ass, shoulder-to-shoulder with his friend, patiently awaiting an explanation. “I was calling you and you weren’t answering either of your phones. Then I went to your apartment and you weren’t there. God, JR, I thought he…I thought that somehow…that he managed to…” Chris took a rough breath, scrubbing his face with his palms as Jensen realized in horror, where his friend’s mind had gone to. “Then I come here,” he gesticulated wildly around the studio, “and everything is in darkness, but the music is blaring, and you’re lying on the floor, struggling to breathe…”

“God, Chris,” Jensen mumbled, “I’m so sorry, man. I didn’t think…I couldn’t hear my cell over the music...I just, I needed to get away a little bit.”

“What happened?” the shorter man asked quietly. “I’ve seen you dance, man, and you don’t breathe half a shade faster after your most vigorous class. How long have you been at it?”

“What time is it?”

“Twenty after one.”

Jensen flinched. “I started dancing around 8 o’clock last night. So, about 5 hours.”

“Jesus Christ,” Chris whistled. “Wanna tell me what brought that on?”

He carefully levered himself to lie on his back, unsurprised when Kane copied the motion. Arranging his thoughts, he propped one arm behind his head, to cushion it, before uttering a single sentence. “His name is Jared.”

Chris grinned wolfishly. “You sly dog,” he chuckled, swatting Jensen’s side playfully. “What’s the problem then?”

“He has a girlfriend,” Jensen bemoaned. “Even if he is bi, I’m not a home-wrecker.”

“Well due respect to monogamy, but ‘girlfriend’ isn’t the same as ‘wife’ or ‘fiancé’,” he pointed out gently. “This Jared guy has a right to change his mind if he’s interested in you.”

“ _If_ he’s interested,” Jensen emphasized. 

“So if he is, and he leaves his girl, you’ll give him a chance?” Chris asked dubiously.

Heaving a guilty sigh, Jensen pouted. “I would want to,” he admitted miserably. “But how could I live with doing that to someone? They'd be happy if not for me, in that case.”

“JR, if his eye wandered, then he wasn’t really in the relationship to begin with,” Chris pointed out. “You could put Miss Universe in front of me and I wouldn’t do anything more than appreciate, because I love Danni and she means more than the world to me.” Chris snorted. “And by the way, she’s pissed as all hell that you weren’t answering your phones. She was crawling the walls more than I was.”

Jensen smiled fondly. Danneel was his best friend in college, and even though Chris had been his brother since they were 3 years old, she was every bit as protective as his oldest friend, especially after what happened with Justin. When he’d set the two of them up and they’d immediately hit it off, he had been ecstatic, not thinking of the repercussions of having their overprotectiveness combined and directed solely at him.

He sometimes wondered whether the force of their combined overprotectiveness could power a small country. The jury was still out.

“Call her,” he entreated quietly. “The longer she’s in the dark is directly proportional to the force with which she’s gonna punch me in the sternum.”

Chris snickered and flipped his phone open, and Jensen allowed his mind to wander as his friend spoke quietly.

What in the name of all that had rhythm was wrong with him? Jensen just…he wasn’t that guy. He wasn’t the guy who fell ass over heels without knowing where the hell he was going. He wasn’t the guy who fell ass over heels, period! He spent his entire life carefully observing, cataloguing risks, and cautiously approaching- not that it had helped in the case of Justin- and he never did anything impulsively. So what was it about the soft-eyed gentle giant that made Jensen want to leap off the edge that he had only ever dangled his feet from?

He didn’t know yet, wasn’t sure he would ever really understand it, but what he did know was that the ball wasn’t in his court. Chris was right; there was nothing he could do to stop it if Jared’s eyes happened to miraculously wander on to him. But he was secure enough in the knowledge of how impossible that was, so he decided to let it be. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d had a crush on someone and they were unavailable, sadly enough, so he knew how to fake it. 

This wasn’t going to be a big deal, or any kind of deal, really. Honestly. Truly.

###

Okay, so it may have become something of a deal.

Jensen was hunched over himself, doubled over with uncontrollable laughter as he watched Jared continue to give him a play-by-play imitation of his boss, JD Morgan’s, reaction when a hot pink shirt was delivered to him that was supposed to match his fiancé’s dress for an office party they were having. 

“I swear, Jen,” Jared gasped with laughter, “the man looked like he was trying to decide between jumping off a tall building and paying the delivery boy off to say the shirt had never came to him.”

“On the plus side,” Jensen grinned, finally getting hold of his breathing, “he’s not rethinking the wedding.”

“Naw,” Jared shook his head, flopping on to a bench. “JD’s crazy about Sam.”

“Sam?” Jensen asked, quirking an eyebrow. “Not Samantha Smith?” He’d had dealings with the woman before, since she loved the artwork he did, and he couldn’t help wondering if it was the same woman. If it was, then the get-together she’d invited him to, at the office that showed off a lot of his work, was likely the same party Jared was talking about. Jensen bit his lip, hoping against hope…

“The very same!” Jared nodded with a surprised grin. Jensen groaned internally; he figured that Fate wasn’t about to give him a fucking break. “You know her?”

“I’ve done business with her,” he nodded, going for vague, and wondering whether it was too late to back out of the party. The last thing he wanted was to spend the night watching Jared on his girlfriend’s arm, the way he had been watching them every class for the last 4 weeks. “It’s getting pretty late,” Jensen peered out the window, biting his lip. “Why don’t you try that last step-step-step-turn combination quickly, then we can move on to the spin-and-dip?”

“Great,” Jared nodded enthusiastically, bobbing his head. Jensen smiled, and rewound the track. In the 4 weeks that they’d been having their extra dancing lessons, Jared had gotten pretty good, and was a quick study, despite his repeated insistence of _“Jen, I don’t dance”_. Unfortunately, the classes had done nothing to diminish his initial attraction, and he found himself studiously avoiding looking at Jared dance with Sandy, smile and laugh with her…

He was falling, there was no point in denying it. He’d laughed more in the past 4 weeks than he had in 3 years, and more often than not, he found himself sketching Jared’s sharp, rugged, gorgeous features, no to even mention the amount of times he’d lost himself in a daydream about the tall, floppy-haired man. Though he had been burnt in love before- almost fucking _cremated_ , actually- he found that against the odds, he would have wanted a chance with Jared. Would have taken the leap of faith, if the other man had ever been so inclined to ask. 

But none of that would matter, come next week. Three more classes, and Jared would walk out of his life, and Jensen could return to him miserably lonely existence. 

Only this time, he wasn’t sure he could convince himself that he didn’t need anybody else.

 

~*Jared*~

 

Jared had to clench his hands so tight that half-crescent moons impaled on to his palm, just to stop himself from reaching out and grabbing Jensen, pulling him flush against his body and ravishing those sinfully plush lips that had starred in more of Jared’s dreams than he wanted to admit. 

Three, just three more classes, and he would get to act on every last dirty desire he’d had about the man. His break-up with Sandy had gone over surprisingly well, she had been really understanding about the whole thing, only asking him to complete the classes with her, before pursuing Jensen. She had tearfully explained how she didn’t want to be on the class’s gossip mill, and Jared had to concede that he owed her at least that. 

They weren’t living together anymore, just attending the classes together, and Jared couldn’t even begin to describe how happy he was with every day that he got to know Jensen that much more. He found out that Jensen loved country music, and that he was slow to trust. He found out that Jensen was a fiercely family-orientated guy, but that he had a strained relationship with his father, for some reason. He found out that Jensen often danced to forget the world, and that he organised a dance scholarship for Annabeth because he couldn't stand for Mrs. H to have to work at her age. 

He was falling in love, he knew it and he wasn’t afraid to admit it, and he couldn’t wait to start pursuing Jensen properly. For whatever reason, the man couldn’t see his own worth for shit, even as he saw the good in absolutely everyone else. Jared wanted so badly to treasure and cherish him, show him how much better he was than he thought. 

But he had to wait. 

Just three more classes. What was the worst that could happen in two weeks?

###

“Jared!” 

Jared grinned as the woman called him, turning and aiming a big smile at her. Samantha Smith, his boss’s fiancé, was waving him over. He took Sandy’s arm gently, steering her towards the smiling lady. 

“Thanks for agreeing to come with me,” he thanked his ex-girlfriend again. “It would have been awkward trying to explain your absence to everyone.”

“It’s a pleasure, Jare,” Sandy smiled sweetly at him. “Anything for a _friend_.”

“Hey!” Sam pulled him into a hug before doing the same to Sandy. “Are you two enjoying the party?”

“Yeah, we really are,” Jared nodded, grinning widely at the force of nature that was JD’s fiancé. “JD mentioned that you hosted this whole thing to honor an artist? The guy that did all the artwork for the office?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded excitedly. “Although, I didn’t tell him so. I told him it was more of a pre-wedding get-together, in the office that just happened to house his art.” She blushed as Jared laughed. “He’s a shy one, typical artist, and I needed to get him here!” She defended with a grin. “It was the least I could do. He offered to do the wedding portrait for free when he saw me admiring his work! Isn’t his work amazing? I bought some for the new house, too, I couldn’t help myself. The man’s a genius.”

Jared hummed in agreement. He’s seen the paintings and loved all of them. They seemed to come to life, and with its intricate detail, Jared found he could spend hours looking at the same piece and still keep finding new and different things about it. He fingered the frame of the painting where they stood; his personal favorite, _The Northern Star_. It showed the hood of a black car, headlights illuminating the beaten path in a field of wildflowers. Some of the flowers were wilted, and others were destroyed completely, adding to the realistic impression, while here and there in between, was a breathtakingly beautiful blossom in full bloom. Above the pathway, dominating the picture, was a dark, murky sky, filled with threatening thunder clouds, a shadow of darkness to the beauty below it. But right at the end of the sky, was a miniscule clearing of clouds, that showed a peek of a navy sky, and a small, but brightly shining star.

“You know, Jeff and I nearly fought about whether the office or the house would get that piece,” Sam grinned. 

“I can believe it,” Jared snorted as his fingers delicately traced the gold initials, barely visible in the car’s right headlight; JR. “I would love to ask the artist what his thoughts were when he was painting this.”

“You’re in luck,” Sam grinned. “Hey, JR! You have a fan here!”

Jared turned to face the man, and the artist turned at the same time…

…and Jared’s jaw got real cozy with the floor.

Because currently, standing not ten feet away from him, looking like a deer in the headlights, was _Jensen._

He looked like he’d stepped off the cover of GQ. He was clad in a charcoal black tuxedo, with a crisp white shirt underneath. Black leather dress shoes, a white pocket square and a black silk bowtie tied the ensemble together, and Jared felt like he should either be shoving the man against the nearest wall and openly admiring with his tongue and mouth, or growling at everyone else who was looking at the his God-like beauty. 

Jared knew which option his ever-interested dick would choose, but for now, he’d have to settle with the latter option.

“Hey, Jared,” Jensen smiled sheepishly, biting on his pouty bottom lip in a way that made Jared groan and re-adjust his pants. Glittering green eyes turned to Sandy and Sam. “Hey Sandy. Sam.”

“You all know each other?” Sam asked, confused. 

Jensen nodded, hands going to run through his hair before he thought better of it and shoved them in his pockets. “They take my dance class.”

“Great,” Sam grinned. “Jared here was just admiring your _Northern Star_ piece. You know, Jensen didn’t want to sell this one at first.”

Jared turned to face the main star of his dreams. “What made you change your mind?” he asked quietly. 

Jensen took a deep breath, seeming to think about the answer as he gazed at the painting. “I decided it was time to let the past go.”

“What were you painting when you did this?” Jared asked softly, his eyes intent on Jensen, who still hadn’t look away from the piece of art. He noted idly that Sam and Sandy had slithered away, leaving them there. “Because somehow I doubt it was just a field of flowers and a sky that promised rain.” Jensen hesitated, and Jared knew it was difficult for the man to open up about something that close to him. Impulsively, he volunteered, “I always wanted to be a writer.”

Jensen glanced at him in surprise, finally tearing his eyes away from the painting. Amidst the raw pain that Jared saw there, was a flash of curiosity, and it would figure that Jared wanting to talk about something would be enough to pull Jensen from whatever dark place he’d gone to. The beautiful man was selfless like that.

“What happened?” he asked. 

“My parents, and Sandy, they…they talked me into getting a paying job instead,” he huffed a slightly rueful laugh. Jensen frowned. 

“Writing is a paying job,” he insisted quietly. “Have you ever sent your work to publishers?”

Jared shook his head, blushing. “Why go after something I won’t get to have?” he asked rhetorically with a shrug. “Besides, I’ve got a job now.”

“Are you happy being an auditor?” Jensen asked dryly, the sardonic raise of one eyebrow suggesting that he already knew the answer to that.

“Not really,” Jared answered anyway, “but it’s the safer option.”

Jensen snorted. “Safe is for people with a mortgage and three kids,” he shot back. “Now is a great time to be taking risks, if writing is your dream.”

“My dad used to tell me _‘Jared, your name in print will do nothing to keep you in a relationship if that name isn’t on a pay check.’_ ”

Jensen’s chin lifted slightly in defiance, green eyes blazing. It was the most fire he’d seen the normally sedate man show, outside of when he was dancing. “My old man used to tell me the same thing,” he shook his head stubbornly. “I think it’s a load of crap. Due respect to both our fathers, this isn’t the 15th century anymore. I went my own way, made my own decisions, and I think I’m doing okay. And if I were in a relationship, and the guy I was with wanted to pursue his dreams…” Jensen huffed slightly, biting his lip as he frowned. “I think I’d threaten to leave him if he _didn’t_. It’s the most delusional notion that a relationship needs money to have stability. A good, strong relationship is one that will have stability even in the absence of money.” Jensen took a deep breath, seeming to lose himself in thought for a second before adding, “As long as the guy I’m with is happy, we can work everything else out.”

Why had Jared ever thought that he couldn’t fall more in love with this man?

 

~*Jensen*~

 

Jensen bristled at the very thought of Jared doing something he didn’t like because he was pressured into it. “I know a little something about pressure from parents,” he muttered, thinking about the role his father played in what happened with Justin. “Trust me when I say that it’s better to follow your own heart. You’ll end up with fewer…” he swallowed back the word _‘scars’_ , “…regrets.”

Jared nodded, looking speculatively at the painting, as though he instinctively knew to give Jensen a moment to compose himself. The taller man had obviously shared something important with him…and he found, contrary to his expectations, that he _wanted_ to reciprocate.

“The field is life,” he offered softly, running his fingers over the roughened picture, remembering with a tingle in his fingers, all of the sharp, strong brush strokes that had created the art in front of them. “The flowers show the combination of things you have in your life; some things are pure, full of joy and happiness,” he touched the flowers in bloom, “some things are weathered and roughened by life, but still hold some beauty,” his fingers drifted to the wilting flowers, before finally coming to the dead ones, “and some are just weeds that we need to learn to remove from our lives. The headlights show the two paths you can take in life, the beaten, or you can forage your own path.” Almost like his hand had a mind of its own, his fingers brushed over the dark, malevolent sky. “And this is the darkness that sometimes touches us in life,” he murmured, with a small shiver. “It casts shadows over everything else, scary and confusing…” he swallowed hard, trying not to think about Justin. “But I think you’d like the star most of all.” He glanced at Jared, lips quirked up into a half smile, to see the man gazing at him, paying rapt attention, heat and something undefinable simmering in his eyes.

“What’s the star?” Jared’s voice deepened in his lower tone.

“Hope,” Jensen answered simply, grazing the pads of his fingers against the small star. “It’s the light that comes to stave away the darkness, or rather the hope that we all have in our hearts, to someday find our Northern guiding star that’ll guide us through the rain.”

“Jensen…” Jared breathed roughly, eyes zeroing in on him. Like prey, he was caught in Jared’s predatory gaze, his feelings for the other man coming to the forefront of his mind as his body flushed with the intensity of Jared’s stare. He felt suspended in the moment…

“JR!” 

Jensen had never before wanted so badly to deck his best friend. 

Chris bounded up to him, throwing a casual arm around his shoulder. So focused on Jared’s face, it confused Jensen when the normally friendly, outgoing man went quiet, what looked to be utter devastation ripping his hazel eyes.

“Jay, are you okay?” Jensen asked in concern, the nickname slipping out. He idly noticed that sometime during their talk, Sam and Sandy had left them, but his primary concern was a now shattered-looking Jared.

“I’m fine,” Jared nodded faintly, looking away. “I, um…I’m Jared,” he introduced himself to Chris, looking like it took an effort to bring his eyes up to meet Chris’.

Jensen’s heart squeezed in worry. “Sorry,” he mumbled distractedly. “Chris, this is Jared.” His eyes flicked to his friend and from the wolfish grin, Chris remembered the name. “Jay,” Jensen cleared his throat, hoping his blush wasn’t too obvious, “this is Christian Kane, my best friend.”

Jared’s eyes snapped up at that. Confusion took the place of the sadness that was worrying Jensen, and that in turn confused him. “Best friend?” he asked.

Jensen hummed distractedly, instinctively twisting his head to make sure Danneel wasn’t in hearing range. “Just don’t let Danneel hear that,” he winced. “Red-head, about 5’4”? She’s Chris’ fiancé, but she _will_ floor him. She claims full rights to the ‘Best Friend’ title.”

Jared huffed out a small laugh, and his smile was like the sun coming out. Jensen wondered in bewilderment what brought the sudden change on as Jared energetically pumped Chris’ hand. “Great to meet you, man!”

From Chris’ smirk, he had a fairer idea what was going on, so Jensen merely shrugged, trusting that Kane would explain it to him later.

But suddenly, that wasn’t his concern anymore.

“ _Jen_ sen.”

It was funny- you know, that truly awful, so-not-funny, kind of funny- how one word, from one person, said in a certain tone, can bring someone to their knees.

The blood drained from Jensen’s face and shivers wracked his body. “Justin.”

His ex-boyfriend smirked at him, ice cold eyes glaring even as his lips turned up. Before even Chris could react, Jared took a step towards him, in an almost protective gesture that didn’t escape Justin’s attention. Justin narrowed his eyes at Jared, and all of a sudden, Jensen wasn’t worried about Chris killing the man, or Justin causing a scene. 

He just needed Jared out of the line of fire.

“What do you want, Justin?” he asked, pleased when his hard tone didn’t waver, even as his insides trembled. 

“You and some whipped cream, a mansion, a yacht, maybe a small island to be named after me, not much,” Justin leered. “I’ll settle for talking to you a little while.” He aimed a pointed stare at Chris and Jared, both of whom were tightly coiled. “Sans bodyguards.”

At that point, Jensen would have done close to anything to get Justin’s dark gaze off Jared. “Outside,” he clenched his teeth, willing himself to hold strong. “I’ll talk you outside.”

“The fuck you will,” Chris snarled, starting forward. Jensen grabbed the lapel of his jacket, yanking him backwards. Fire filled his green eyes as protectiveness overrode his fear.

“Come back for me,” he commanded Chris, in a voice so low Justin didn’t have a chance of hearing. “Right now, you go find Danni. Make sure she’s safe and away from him.” Chris’ face was torn, and Jensen shook his best friend once, making the choice for him. “Now! You listen to me, Kane, I’m going to be okay, but right now, you fucking find Danni and make sure she’s out of the crossfire. Take Jared with you.”

Not hanging around to make sure his orders were followed, Jensen turned around, steeling himself as he strode towards Justin and then past him, to the nearest exit.

Across the building was a park, and Jensen strode purposefully to it before stopping at a bench. Justin smirked at him, sitting down leisurely.

“Not gonna join me, Jensen?” he asked, hand over his heart in mock hurt.

“Why are you here, Justin?” Jensen asked sharply, the bravado from his protectiveness staying firm. “Quit your fucking games and lay your cards on the table.”

Justin whistled lowly, eyebrows raised as he lifted his hands, palms-up. “Jenny, Jenny, Jenny… it seems you’ve got some of that fire back since last we met.” A hint of the darkness he was capable of crept on to his expression for the first time that night. “No problem. We can fix that right up once we get home.”

Jensen snorted derisively, hoping the hint of hysteria in it wasn’t as blatant as he thought. “You need professional help if you think I’m going anywhere with you,” he hissed. “You need professional help, regardless.”

A hand snaked up quickly, gripping his arm in a vice-tight grip that made Jensen gasp. Justin’s other hand came up before he could react, backhanding him soundly. Jensen staggered under the force, shuddering when the familiar copper tang of blood flooded his mouth. Justin jerked him back up, one hand holding Jensen’s bicep and the other around his throat, so hard, he knew there would be bruises in the morning. 

“Don’t fucking get smart with me, Jenny,” he warned in a low hiss. “You’re going to come home with me, and you’re going to apologize for being such a bratty little slut, and we’re going to get married. Do you understand me?” Jensen clenched his teeth, drawing up his last vestiges of strength, and raised his chin a fraction in mutiny. 

“ _No_. I _won’t_.”

“You little…” Justin’s eyes darkened in fury as he started to squeeze. Jensen choked, the hand not trapped in Justin’s gasp coming up to desperately pound at Justin in an attempt to break free.

“Hey! Let him go!” The furious, booming voice came from across the road, and before Jensen could register what was happening, he was being thrown to the ground next to the bench. He immediately curled in on himself, coughing and spluttering, his body shaking. When a hand came down on his shoulder, he jerked violently in an instinctive response.

It was all too much for a brief moment. Jensen welcomed the respite of darkness.

 

~*Jared*~

 

Terror mixed with a healthy dose of rage as Jared bent over Jensen’s hunched form. He could hardly put to words the barrage of emotions that assaulted him when he’d come outside to check on Jensen, only to find the asshole from earlier choking him.

Jared’s heart ripped to shreds when Jensen jolted at the touch of his hand, but it was nothing compared to the crippling agony when Jensen slumped bonelessly. 

“No!” Jared shouted, horrified. Yanking an unresponsive Jensen into his arms, settling the man’s upper body across his lap, Jared desperately cupped the dancer’s face, a strange combination of stroking and tapping as he tried to get through to Jensen. “Jensen, Jen, wake up, come on, baby, wake up. Let me see those green eyes, Jen, come on…”

Coughing weakly, Jensen stirred, shaking like a leaf in his arms. As soon as he opened his eyes, Jensen panicked, scrambling to get away, until Jared forced his hands down and pressed his forehead down hard against Jensen’s. “Jen!” he barked out sharply, wincing when Jensen froze. They both breathed deeply for a moment, and Jared let his forehead slip, dipping down to nuzzle Jensen’s neck. “Just me, Jen, it’s just me. It’s Jared. You’re safe, I’m here now, I’ve got you.”

Jared kept up the mindless litany of reassurances until Jensen shuddered a breath, relaxing into his arms. Unconsciously, Jared began to rock them both until Jensen was completely relaxed in the cradle of his embrace. Jensen’s hands came tentatively up to hook on to his shirt, and Jared almost cried at the gesture, the terror coming back in full force. If he hadn’t ditched Kane to come check on Jensen…

“Oh, God, oh Jensen,” he muttered, holding the dancer impossibly closer and curling protectively over his form. Either Jensen was still trembling, or now he was, or maybe they both were, but none of it mattered just then. All that mattered was Jensen in his arms.

“Jensen!” 

Jared lifted his head in time to see Chris sprinting towards them, fear as clear as day in the other man’s face. He crouched further over Jensen instinctively, his mind still in protective mode, and it was only Jensen’s feeble arm on his that brought him from his stupor.

“S’okay, Jay,” he mumbled, words garbled and voice hoarse. “S’just Chris. Just Chris.”

Jared released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, nodding in acknowledgement. The long-haired man dropped to his knees, hands brushing through Jensen’s hair and traveling over his face, touching tentatively at the fresh marks around his neck. Jared fought against the urge to smack Chris’ hands away, snarl at him for touching Jared’s Jensen.

“Come on, let’s get you to a hospital,” Chris murmured soothingly. 

“No,” Jensen protested weakly, scooching closer into Jared. “No hospitals, I can’t…just want to go to the studio, please…”

“Jen,” Jared tried to gently reason with him, but the man just shook his head, somehow managing to be stubborn even in his state.

“No.”

Chris huffed out a sigh. “No point arguing,” he resigned, clenching his jaw as he worked to internalize his rage for a better time. “You gonna take him or should I?”

“I got him,” Jared answered immediately, unconsciously pulling Jensen closer to him as though Chris was going to take him away. The other man nodded in acquiescence and he relaxed marginally. Ignoring Jensen’s shaky protests, he swept the dancer’s lithe form up into his arms, relishing in the feeling. Chris fished the car keys from Jensen’s jacket pocket and went ahead, opening the door for Jared to deposit his most precious cargo. 

“Wait, what about Sandy?” Jensen rasped out, leaning heavily against the bucket seats.

Jared’s heart warmed as much as he felt exasperated. Jensen was always, even hurt and barely conscious, thinking about everyone else.

“She can take the car we came with,” Jared stated firmly. “I’m not leaving you.”

Closing the door so as not to allow his decision to become a discussion, Jared rounded the car to the driver’s side. He couldn’t appreciate driving the beauty of a ride, so focused was he on Jensen.

The stunning man next to him dozed fitfully as Jared drove the familiar route to the studio. He couldn’t help but brush his knuckles or fingers over Jensen’s face intermittently, craving the contact, and if Jensen unconsciously leaning into the gestures were anything to go by, he needed it too. 

The dancer only awoke fully when Jared had swung the Impala into the parking space in the back of the studio. He went there impulsively, somehow knowing that there was a reason Jensen always parked here instead of out front. Shakily, Jensen got out of the car, holding a hand up to stop Jared when he came to wind an arm around him in support. Pride warred with worry in Jared’s heart; while he admired the man for his unyielding strength, it also scared him half to death that by pushing himself to these limits, Jen might hurt himself more. 

He settled for hovering near Jensen, available if the man showed any signs of needing a helping hand, while still allowing him to move, on willpower alone. The taller man only relaxed when they were in the studio and he left Jensen to sit on one of the benches, busying himself by putting on the lights and switching on Jensen’s dock, allowing soft music to permeate the air. Jared made a point of not looking at Jensen as he did this, knowing that the dancer needed a moment to himself to gather his thoughts, regain his equilibrium. 

“You keep your dock here overnight?” he asked casually as he fiddled with it to get to a decent song. Finally, he settled on _Neon Light_ by Blake Shelton, hoping the familiar country feel to the carefree song might soothe Jensen’s frayed nerves. 

He turned around to find Jensen smiling slightly, unconsciously tapping out the beat with his fingers against his thighs, and something inside Jared hummed with pleasure at the fact that he’d been right.

“I’m the only one with keys to the studio,” Jensen shrugged, voice still a little hoarse, but stronger now. “I haven’t got much of a reason to be worried.”

Jared loped towards him, settling himself on the floor near Jensen’s feet, back leaning against the benches. On account of his tall frame and Jensen’s hunched over position, they were face to face, and in the light of the studio, Jared finally saw the vivid bruise decorating Jensen’s cheekbone, as well as the undeniable red tinge to his lush lips. 

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered, horrified, trailing his fingers over the mark as gentle as a butterfly’s wings. “I swear, if I ever see him again…”

“You’re not going to,” Jensen interrupted him sharply, a hint of spark returning to his big green eyes. “I don’t want you anywhere near him.”

Jared stubbornly ignored him, simply continuing to stroke his face soothingly, heart hurting at the fact that the man he loved- and yes, if today’s incident had showed him anything, it was that he loved Jensen- had been in pain.

“His name’s Justin,” Jensen murmured after a while. Jared gazed attentively at Jensen, appreciating what an awful lot it must be taking for Jensen to share. The dancer kept his eyes resolutely on the floor in front of him. “My father…he basically arranged for us to be married. See, Justin’s father is some big oil tycoon, and my father has shares invested with him. He said it would be good business for us to be together. When I came out to my parents…I was just so glad that they didn’t disown me, so glad that my father didn’t cast me out, that at the time, I would have done just about anything they asked.” Jensen shook his head ruefully, and Jared struggled to keep his anger reigned in, the emotional manipulation of Jensen’s father not lost on him. “At first, Justin was really sweet. We were together for three years, and the first year of the relationship was amazing. Then, he proposed, and I figured, why not? I knew I didn’t love him, not in the way I always thought I would love the man I married, but I guess by that time, I had more or less given up on finding that fabled, sparks fly, one true love. Some part of me, though, I always kept back…that’s probably why I kept postponing the wedding,” Jensen wrinkled his nose. “Four months after our engagement…that was the first time it happened. We came back from a club, Justin was drunk, he insisted I was flirting with other guys…” Jensen swallowed hard, and suddenly desperate green eyes came up to meet Jared’s, pleading. “I didn’t, Jay, I swear, I wouldn’t have…”

“I know,” Jared interrupted him, cupping the side of Jensen’s neck and pulling him to rest their foreheads together, his heart breaking for the way Jensen was still trying to defend himself. “I know, Jen, what he did…it’s on him, that wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”

Jensen shuddered and Jared pushed himself up to sit next to the dancer, gathering Jen close and cuddling him against his chest. Jared waged war inside himself; half of him wanted to stay like that forever, Jen safe and protected in his arms, where nothing could ever hurt him again without going through him first. The other half of him? Wanted to hunt the son of a bitch down that dared to lay a finger on his Jensen, kill him slowly and burn his miserable corpse so they’d only be able to identify him with dental records.

“It started off slow,” Jensen mumbled, words muffled where he was still pressed up against him, but Jared didn’t move away. “A backhand. A punch. Throwing me around. He always apologized, and I never wanted to be the one to tell my parents why their golden future son-in-law and I broke up. About a year after it started, it had graduated to full on beatings, and that was when I told my father what was going on.” Jensen hesitated, his breath hitching, and a feeling of pure dread dropped like a rock in Jared’s stomach.

“Jen…what did he do?” he asked hesitantly.

Jensen buried his face in Jared’s shoulder, a move so uncharacteristic that it almost scared Jared. “He told me to suck it up. Be a man, find out what I was doing wrong, be _better_.”

Jared found out very quickly that he knew an amazing amount of cuss words, but none of them put together would do justice to Mr. Ackles.

“Jen,” he managed to push the words out through clenched teeth, “I’m sorry, but your father is a…”

“I know.” Jensen put a hand on his shoulder, stopping his words. “The abuse continued for a year after that. When Justin found out what my father did and said, he started getting more creative. Belts, a rod, even a whip one time.” Jensen swallowed convulsively. “It was the worst year of my life.”

The dancer straightened, pulling away from Jared’s arms to look him in the eye. The sheer strength, determination and iron will that Jared saw there, took his breath away.

“Then one day,” Jensen’s voice took on a tender tone, “my baby sister, Mackenzie…she brought her first boyfriend home to meet us. And Justin…he made some idiotic comment to the guy about keeping Mack on the straight and narrow. My dad laughed and he said that Justin knew what he was talking about, since he was doing it with me.” Jared trembled with the force of his anger, but then, Jensen smiled. A tiny sparkle shone in his green eyes. “I realized something in that moment. I took the guy aside, told him in no uncertain terms that if he dared to hurt my sister, physically, mentally or emotionally, that they wouldn’t be able to identify what was left of him.” A hint of steel came into his eyes. “I fucking meant it, Jared, and he knew it. Then at the end of the night, I told Mack that she was to call me if ever the jackass treated her like anything less than a queen.” Jensen bit his lip, and through the pain, his smile remained. “I realized that if, God forbid, my baby sister was ever in that position, I would tell her to leave. I would also kill the fucker,” his eyes narrowed slightly, “but first and foremost, I would tell her she didn’t deserve it, and that she needed to put some serious miles between her and him. And I knew that I had to do the same if I ever wanted to be able to live with myself.”

“So you did.” Jared nodded, intense pride shining in his chest.

“So I did,” Jensen confirmed. “My father cut me off, but at that point, I was beyond caring. Packed my bags, upped and moved here. I called Chris and Danni, told them what happened.” Jensen huffed a laugh. “Eight months into living here, I get a knock on my door, and the two clowns told me they bought an apartment about twenty blocks from me.” Affection colored Jensen’s tone, and Jared had to smile approvingly at the friends Jensen had. “They didn’t want to leave me here alone. Danni got a job, and I asked Chris to manage my art pieces. Things were tight for a while, and that’s when I started the dance classes. Then about 4 years ago, my grandfather passed away, and he left me a tidy little nest egg. And I made my way from there,” Jensen concluded. Weariness tinged his features, but pride dominated it. “I made it.”

“Yeah, Jen,” Jared nodded, flushed with the heat of desire. “You did.” 

There was really only one thing left to do. Cupping Jensen’s face tenderly in his palms, Jared surrendered himself to every last desire he’d ever had about the beautiful dancer, pressing his lips fleetingly, if a little desperately, against Jensen’s. 

The taste of cinnamon and happiness burst across Jared’s senses as soon as their lips touched. Jensen let out a strangled little gasp, and the sound was almost Jared’s undoing. He surged forward, claiming Jensen’s perfect mouth in an almost bruising kiss, eager to take away any trace of that abusive bastard on his pure, sweet Jensen. 

Jensen held on to him like he was a lifesaver, and Jared took advantage of that by grasping the other man’s hips and manhandling him into Jared’s lap, Jensen throwing his head back in a groan when their hardening crotches brushed together. Jared was nothing if not an opportunist, and he lurched forward to suck and bite at the exposed column of the dancer’s throat. He traced his lips and tongue and teeth with utmost care over the finger shaped bruises that were already forming, trying to erase the fear and pain with love and heady lust. He licked a stripe up Jensen’s neck, all the way to the hollow behind his ear, sucking a deep bruise there. 

“Jay,” Jensen moaned breathily, rocking down against him.

“Fuck, so hot, Jen,” Jared growled, raking a possessive hand down Jensen’s back and into his back pocket, groping covetously at his pert ass. “So good, baby, I want you so much…”

“Jay, wait,” Jensen tried to pull back, but Jared chased the other man’s lips, unwilling to let him. “Sandy,” Jensen mumbled against his lips. “We can’t…I won’t…”

“Sandy and I aren’t together anymore, darlin’,” Jared told him huskily, his Texan twang becoming more pronounced with his arousal. He loved the man even more for the interruption; that inherent goodness in Jen that didn’t allow him to be anything but amazing. “We broke up, the day I met you.” Jared pulled back long enough to gaze into Jensen’s emerald orbs, pouring every ounce of desire and love into his expression. “The day that I realized the other half of my heart was never with her, but with a dancer from Dallas that I had to wait over two decades to meet.”

“Jay…” Jensen breathed, the conflict in his mesmerizing eyes pulling at Jared’s heartstrings. “Are you…” Jensen hesitated, casting his torn stare to the buttons on Jared’s shirt that he’d absent-mindedly begun fiddling with. “I’m…I’m tainted, Jay, I…”

“No!” Jared growled harshly, pulling Jensen flush against him and forcing the other man’s eyes to fly to his own. “Don’t. Don’t you say that, baby, don’t you ever think that.” He brushed tender kisses over Jensen’s eyelids, forehead, nose, cheeks, everywhere he could reach. “That bastard tried to break you, Jen,” he whispered, the rage evident in his tone. “But,” his tone softened, “you fought back, baby. You became a survivor instead of a victim, and I’m so fucking proud of you. Don’t you ever let that son of a bitch make you feel tainted, because you’re not. You’re pure, Jen. You’re perfect.”

Very deliberately, Jared took Jensen’s hand, guiding his palm to press over the rock hard bulge tenting Jared’s slacks. Jensen moaned, and Jared couldn’t help but grind against the delicious pressure. “Feel that, baby? Feel how fucking hard I am for you? How much I want you?”

Jensen refrained from answering. Instead, he raised his eyes to Jared’s, emerald green blown black with desire, and expertly flicked open the button on his pants, carefully pushing the zipper down. He watched Jared while he did this, and the raw intent combined with the way Jensen ran his tongue unconsciously over his glistening, kiss-swollen bottom lip, almost had Jared coming right there. 

Jensen slid down between his knees, pushing Jared’s legs apart in a clear signal of what he wanted. Every atom in Jared’s body begged him to mindlessly comply, but the love and concern he felt for the angel kneeling in front of him came to the forefront of his mind and heart.

“You don’t have to, darlin’,” he told Jensen in a strangled mumble. “I don’t…I mean, I’d love for you to, but I don’t want you to think…”

“The fact that you’re asking me,” Jensen butted in, unbelievable warmth flooding his eyes, “tells me everything I needed to know. And it tells me why I want to suck you down and make you come so hard down my throat that you forget everything except my name and a cuss word.”

“Jesus, fuck, Jen…” Jared groaned, clamping his hand around the base of his dick to stop himself from finishing before they even started. Jensen chuckled, gently removing his hands.

“We haven’t even gotten to the fun part yet, Jay,” he purred, and the way his name sounded in Jensen’s thick, roughened voice, made Jared’s cock twitch excitedly. 

Jen lowered his head to run his tongue up along the vein on the underside of Jared’s cock, and the taller man let out a strangled gasp, powerless to do anything but grab on to Jensen’s hair and let his legs fall wider apart. Jensen smirked up at him, and hooking their gazes together, Jensen watched him from underneath ridiculously long lashes as he bent to suckle Jared’s weeping head, delving his tongue teasingly into the leaking slit. Jared’s hips jerked instinctively, but Jensen seemed to have expected it, jerking his head back with Jared’s motion. 

“Sorry,” Jared whispered apologetically, threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair. 

Jensen winked at him. “Hold on, Jay,” came the simple warning, before Jensen swallowed him down, taking Jared’s length into his mouth until Jared could feel the head of his cock hitting the back of Jensen’s throat. Jared let out a stream of profanities, managing to hold back from fucking Jensen’s mouth on willpower alone. Jensen bobbed his head, tongue lapping as he deep-throated Jared’s hot member.

“Fuck, Jen, so fucking good baby, so good for me,” Jared mumbled mindlessly, his hips thrusting ever so slightly. “God, yeah, baby, right there…fuck, Jen, so hot.”

Jensen’s hands fell away from his hips, effectively giving him permission, and Jared fucked into Jensen’s mouth, trying hard not to be too rough. Those talented hands found their way to his balls, and Jensen fondled him gently, but it was finally looking down to see those sinful lips wrapped so perfectly around his dick, that had Jared’s shooting his load.

“Fuck, Jensen!” he cried out, coming hard into Jensen’s pliant mouth. Jensen sucked him through his orgasm, swallowing his load and continuing to suckle gently at his softening cock as Jared came down from his high. Jensen pulled off him with an obscene pop, grinning mischievously up at him as he licked his swollen lips.

“Told you you’d forget everything except my name and a cuss word,” he smirked, his voice deeper and hoarser after deep-throating him. Jared chuckled breathlessly, pulling Jensen back up to straddle his lap and kissing him deeply, his spent cock twitching when he tasted himself on Jensen’s lips. 

“You’re so damn perfect, baby,” Jared murmured roughly, palming Jensen’s still-hard cock through his pants. “You know,” he spoke conversationally as he nibbled a path down Jensen’s neck, hands busy with Jensen’s zipper, “when I saw you in this tux? I wanted to bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you into oblivion.” Jensen made a small whimpering sound at that, thrusting into Jared as the taller man grinned. “You’re fucking sex on legs in a suit, baby,” he growled, slipping Jensen’s pants and boxers down and spreading his own legs so that Jensen was balanced precariously spread apart on his lap.

“Jay, please,” Jensen moaned, burying his face in the crook of Jared’s neck. 

“Don’t hide from me, baby,” Jared entreated, searching out Jensen’s eyes. “I want to see you. I want to see every expression on your beautiful face while I jerk you off, make you come so hard for me.”

As he spoke, Jared leisurely stripped Jensen’s cock, letting his long fingers brush up against Jensen’s balls as he neared the base, and then twisting his wrist slightly as he came back to the head. Using his thumb, he rubbed the slit, spreading the pre-come over Jensen’s hard length and jacking him faster. Watching the ecstasy splay across Jensen’s face as he moaned and threw his head back, his brow furrowed with the force of his pleasure, was almost as hot as seeing Jensen blow him. “That’s it, baby,” Jared jerked him faster, encouraging the low whimpers Jensen was letting out. “Let me hear you, Jen, let me hear how much you want this. So hot, baby.”

Jared let his other hand dip behind Jensen’s back, one finger finding its way to his hole. Jared rubbed over the puckered flesh, groaning when Jensen let out a strangled cry, bucking against him. “Want me to play with your hole, baby?” Jared growled. “Want me to fill you up, put my fingers inside you?”

“God, yes, Jay, please!” Jensen pleaded, hands gripping on to Jared’s shoulders hard enough to bruise. Jared slowly circled Jensen’s rim, pushing in gently, wary of the lack of lube and unwilling to hurt his precious dancer. Jensen seemed to share no such qualms as he pushed back against Jared’s finger, trying to get more of the digit into him. Stripping his cock faster, Jared pressed his finger into Jensen’s hole, fucking in and out in tandem with the strokes of his hand. 

The dual sensations were pushing Jensen off his edge, Jared knew, so with a final jerk of his cock and a final thrust into his hole, Jared bit down on Jensen’s shoulder roughly. 

“Mine!” he growled possessively, and like a chain reaction, Jensen keened, coming hard, spilling his seed over both their suits and Jensen’s thighs. Jensen flopped forward until his forehead was resting once more against Jared’s, and both men relished in the closeness for a few seconds, exchanging languid kisses. 

“You’re mine, Jen,” Jared murmured again, licking tenderly over Jensen’s split lip and bruised jaw. “Please, say that you’re mine. I can’t let you go, I don’t ever want to.” He pulled back, only to lean forward and kiss the spot directly over Jensen’s heart. “Tell me that you’re mine, Jen.”

“I’m yours,” Jensen whispered, overcome with emotion. He lifted Jared’s downturned head, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I was yours from the day you told me you had two left feet,” he teased gently, making Jared laugh breathlessly.

“My Jen,” Jared nuzzled tenderly at Jensen’s neck. “So beautiful, so perfect, and all mine.”

So caught up in the thrilling feeling of having the man he’d dreamt of for weeks, Jared didn’t notice the sinister pair of hard brown eyes observing their exchange from the studio door, a malicious smirk twisting his face.

###


	3. I do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing all the drama! Being that this is short, it's all crammed in here! Hope you enjoy!

~*Jensen*~

 

“You sly dog!”

Chris whooped enthusiastically, making Jensen blush as he carried in coolers of drinks, eyes studiously avoiding the spot where he and Jared had, as Chris so eloquently put it, ‘gone Brokeback Mountain on each other’s asses’.

After a prolonged cuddling and make-out session, Jared had left, making Jensen promise to call if he needed him and in turn, promising to come in early to help set up for their last dance class. Every year, to commend his students, Jensen held a small party during their last lesson, letting everyone dance and let go. He scanned around quickly, still finding no Jared, before turning his attention to his chuckling best friend.

“I swear, you and Danni are not allowed to stay if y’all are just gonna try to make me and Jared splutter the whole night,” Jensen warned, but even he couldn’t keep the dreamy smile off his face. For the first time in six years, since he left Justin to pave his own road forward, Jensen believed that he might have a chance at happiness. For so long, he’d seen himself as damaged goods, unworthy and not meant for love and that elusive happy ending…but every touch of Jared’s skin on his last night, every kiss, every caress, every whispered promise, all made Jensen feel pure, somehow, cleaned of the pollution from his past. Untainted. Mended. Renewed.

Jensen was also surprised that Jared’s possessive words, that feeling of belonging to him, had none of the same connotations Jensen had come to fear from Justin. On some level, he supposed he knew that Jared’s wanting to possess him was more on an intimate level, as compared to Justin’s wanting to possess him as though he were an asset to be coveted. Whatever the subtle difference was, Jensen found himself immensely turned on every time Jared had growled that Jensen was his.

“Me and Danni will behave,” Chris rolled his eyes, bringing Jensen back to the present. “Which reminds me, I have to go fetch her. Wasn’t lover boy supposed to meet you here?”  
Jensen nodded, turning to check the clock on the wall. Jared was 35 minutes late…Jensen tried hard to quell the nerves in his stomach that immediately spiked. 

“Don’t worry,” Jensen shook his head, waving his friend off. “Go fetch Danni, else she’ll skin us both alive. I’ll be okay here.”

“But JR,” Chris frowned uneasily, and from the tone of his best friend’s voice, and the way he spoke Jensen’s childhood nickname, the dancer instantly knew what was perturbing the shorter man. 

“Justin isn’t gonna be stupid enough to try something here,” Jensen soothed him, squeezing his shoulder in comfort. “I’ll be safe, and I have you on speed dial. Okay? Besides,” Jensen smiled brightly. “I’m sure Jared’ll be here any minute.”

###

He wasn’t.

Jensen watched the bunch of people around him, his stomach twisted into a thousand knots at the conspicuous absence of Jared and Sandy. Gnawing on his bottom lip and wincing when he was reminded of the fact that Justin had split it the previous night, Jensen tapped his fingers absently against his plastic cup, a staccato rhythm that neither calmed him, nor lifted his spirits the way a good beat usually did. 

“Relax, JR,” Chris came to stand next to him, lightly nudging him with his elbow as Danni put her small hands over his in an attempt to still them. “He’ll be here.”

“And if he isn’t, I’ll kick his ass,” Danni slipped an arm around him, squeezing comfortingly as she leaned her head against his shoulder. He smiled briefly, pressing his cheek to Danni’s downturned head, but didn’t reply. Something in his gut told him to brace himself for pain, and that instinct, after being honed through three years with Justin, was one Jensen was inclined to trust. 

And with good reason.

“We’re here!” Jensen heard Sandy’s squeal before he lifted his head and saw the girl herself. She was draped over Jared’s arm, tucked close to his side, and the sight hit Jensen like a punch to the gut.

_Sandy and I aren’t together anymore, darlin’. We broke up, the day I met you._

Jensen swallowed thickly; had those words been lies? It can’t have been…Jared’s eyes when he said that…couldn’t lie…could it? He tried to catch Jared’s eye, but the man stared resolutely at the floor, and away from him.

“We have news!” Sandy grinned at them all, aiming the brightest one at Jensen. “I’m pregnant!”

Jensen could barely hear the cheers and squeals and applause through the burst of noise that erupted in his mind. Some faraway part of him recognized it as the sound of his heart shattering.

 

~*Jared*~

 

_Jensen, oh God, Jen, I need to find Jen, I need to speak to him, I need to explain._

The thoughts played on a loop in Jared’s mind, panic fogging his brain as Sandy and him made their way towards the studio. The party was in full swing, but Jared felt nauseous and so far from the mood it wasn’t even funny.

To think, not 24 hours ago, he’d walked out of that same studio the happiest he could remember being in his entire life…only to have gone home to find Sandy crying, telling him she was 6 weeks pregnant, and begging him not to leave her to go it alone. Fate was cruel that way.

Now, though, he needed to find Jensen. Apologize till his throat was raw, beg for forgiveness, for understanding, because he could never leave his own child for the sake of his happiness. Every bone in him ached at the thought of losing the man he loved so soon after finding him, having him…but he couldn’t be a deadbeat father. 

Desperately, he searched for Jensen, found him leaning into a red-head woman with Christian at his side, and he figured that must have been Danneel. Before he could do anything, Sandy plastered herself against his side, announcing their arrival in a trilling voice he suddenly hated, and Jared could do nothing but stare at the ground, too cowardly to face the pain he knew would be in Jensen’s eyes.

Then Sandy announced her pregnancy. It took his brain a while to figure out she’d said it, and the thought snapped his head up. They’d agreed not to say anything, Sandy had _promised_ him time to tell Jensen first…

He looked around the room once more, only to find Jensen missing, and Chris and Danneel running out of the back door. He tried to pull away from Sandy, but they were quickly bombarded by their friends, being smothered with congratulations. Jared forced himself to have patience. Groveling would have to wait for a time when less attention would be on them. 

Livid with Sandy for the stunt she pulled, he refused to look at her, striking up a conversation with Zach and Yvonne instead, only half-listening to the excited comments.

If only he could have turned back time.

 

~*Jensen*~

 

“JR…”

“Leave, Chris,” Jensen pushed the words past numb lips, appreciating his friends running after him, but needing to be alone. He saw Danni and Chris exchange a look, and normally, the sight would have him rolling his eyes. Right now? Everything hurt so bad he could barely fucking think straight.

The door opened behind him, and Jensen sent a quick prayer to the heavens that it wasn’t Jared that had come after him. Turning around, he wasn’t sure whether he was surprised, disappointed, or relieved that it wasn’t.

It was... _Sandy?_

“Jensen!” the petite brunette threw herself into his arms, and he robotically caught her, patting her back in an awkward hug. “I have you to thank for all of this!” she gushed, eyes sparkling. “When Jared told me he was getting extra dance lessons from you to impress me? That was the spark that rekindled our relationship! We knew that I was pregnant about two weeks ago, and I wanted to tell you straight away, and thank you, but Jared just insisted we announce it at the party instead!” she giggled, and the words broke the last piece of Jensen’s heart. 

He’d comforted himself thinking that Jared was doing the right thing and sticking by his child, but if he’d known two weeks ago? That meant he’d lied about everything, whatever happened between them, just a last fling before he got tied down.

_Jensen was a fucking idiot._

“Congratulations, Sandy,” he heard himself saying. “I wish y’all everything of the very best.”

The woman hugged him again, before bounding away, and Jensen only had enough strength to hold on until she was out of sight, before he was falling, an odd, broken sound floating above his awareness.

A strong arm wound itself around his waist, catching him before his knees connected with the hard concrete. Chris.

“Shh, JR, it’s okay, I got you,” he was murmuring, low in Jensen’s ear. “I got you buddy, I’m here. Shh…” Chris lowered them both to the ground, wrapping both arms around Jensen, and it was only then that he realized that the shattered sounds were coming from him; broken sobs and tears ripped straight from his heart as he clutched on to his best friend. His body was racked with pain, his insides feeling frozen and on fire all at the same time. 

“You stay here,” he heard Danni fume, “I’m going inside to _fucking kill_ the man.”

Somehow, summoning his last shred of strength, he looked up at the raging red-head, green eyes wide and beseeching. 

“No,” he mumbled, a small and tearful sound that he was hard-pressed to believe came from his mouth. He leaned back against his best friend, exhausted. “Don’t. Leave him, please.”

“JR, that son of a bitch knew she was pregnant!” Chris seethed. “He fucking played you, he told you they broke up! He fed you a bunch of crap just to get into your pants…”

“I fucking know, Chris!” Jensen snapped, anguish permeating his every cell. He pushed away weakly, unjustifiably mad with his friend for bringing up what amounted to his own stupidity. “I know…” he put his hands on his head, burrowing away from his friends’ sympathetic looks. “I can’t _do this_ anymore, Chris, I can’t do it…”

“Hey, hey…” the man’s voice seemed equally pained as he crawled towards Jensen, like they were all of three years old again and Jensen had fallen and scraped up his knee. It was that feeling that he gave into as Chris gathered him back up in his arms, just like he’d done so many times before, as many times as Jensen himself had done it for him. “I’m sorry, brother,” Chris mumbled, pressing his face into Jensen’s hair, making the dancer sob harder. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He cried into his best friend and brother’s arms, allowing himself a moment of weakness. 

Only just a single moment.

With more difficulty than he wanted to admit, Jensen straightened, swallowing hard against the lump in his throat that felt suspiciously like a crumpled, torn reminder of his heart. 

_Suck it up, Ackles._

He pushed himself up, scrubbing at his face and trying not to lean into Chris as he did so. He’d never be able to get through the night if he allowed himself to fall apart completely. 

He cleared his throat, summoning the courage to look his friends in the eye. “Please, go back in,” he winced internally at how hoarse his voice had become from the tears. “Enjoy the party. But do not approach him, or say anything to him,” he pleaded, fixing a wide stare at them. Both Chris and Danni seemed ready to argue, but Jensen overrode them with a simple, “I loved him.” At their incredulous stare, Jensen sighed. “It doesn’t make sense, and I know it was a lie, but still. The only way I’ll be able to get over this, if ever…is if you guys leave it alone. I love you both, and I know you mean well, but you’re gonna have to let me go this one alone.”

Danneel threw herself at him, crushing him in a hug. “We’ll leave it, JR,” she promised softly, sounding close to tears. “And we’re so Goddamn proud of you. We love you so much.”

Jensen huffed a laugh, wooden and so fake, he cringed. “I love y’all too.”

“JR…” Chris looked at him, an apology in his eyes. “I have to leave man,” he shook his head. “I can’t do it. I can’t…I just can’t go in there and look at that fucker, and leave him standing up. I’m not as strong as that, I’m not as strong as you.”

_Strong,_ Jensen scoffed internally. _Me? What a joke._

Outwardly, he nodded his understanding, feeling the unique brand of protectiveness in the bond between them and knowing that if the situation were reversed, Jensen would have had heads rolling. 

Chris tried valiantly to convince him to come back to their place with them, but Jensen didn’t want to leave his class. He may have been shattered, but he had an obligation to the group of people inside the studio. He wouldn’t shirk away from that. He couldn’t.

He stood for a few minutes in the crisp, nighttime breeze, trying to compose himself before going inside. With Chris and Danni gone, he was blessedly alone…or so he thought.

“Sorry about the new boy-toy, Jenny.”

Jensen felt fear, somewhere melded into the heartbreak, but he turned to face Justin anyway. 

_No amount of pain he can put me through now, will ever compare to this feeling._

Jensen found his footing with that thought, and his voice was almost bored as he spoke to his abusive ex-boyfriend. “The fuck you are. If you’re here to finish killing me, by all means,” he spread his arms open, invitingly. “I’m honestly sick and fucking tired of all the fucking games.”

Momentary shock widened Justin’s features, before he smirked. “Not here to kill you, Jenny.” He dropped to one knee, grinning malignantly. “Will you marry me?”

“Oh, go screw yourself.”

“Tsk, tsk, Jenny,” Justin smirked. “Is that any way to talk to the man you’re about to spend the rest of your life with?”

“You’d be better off killing me first,” Jensen stated baldly, turning around to walk back into the studio. “I’ll never marry you for anything.”

“Not even for the sake of your little boyfriend’s happiness?”

Jensen stopped dead in his tracks. Damn it, he wanted not to give a fuck about Jared…but he had put the man on Justin’s radar. This was his duty to make right…and no matter what Jared did, Jensen had meant it when he said he loved him. 

There was nothing he wouldn’t do for Jared.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded, turning to face his smirking ex.

“I saw you two getting really cozy last night,” Justin drawled. “I’m sure his _pregnant_ wife would be interested to know what her fiancé was getting up to.”

A shudder passed through him, helplessness weighing him down like an anvil. “Don’t, Justin, leave him and his family alone.”

“Then marry me. It’s simple as that,” Justin shrugged, looking bored. “Got your cards, Jenny. Play your hand.”

Jensen swallowed convulsively. He’d made a mistake, fell for beautiful words and gold-dusted promises. He’d done the one thing he swore he wouldn’t. This right here, though? This was his chance to make things right. Not be a home-wrecker. And, he conceded wearily, protect the man he still loved.

“Give me one week,” he whispered. “You arrange things in Dallas, and I’ll make my arrangements here.”

Justin smirked victoriously, swaggering over to press a harsh kiss to Jensen’s unresponsive lips. The dancer fought the urge to gag, feeling his entire body go numb.

“You have three days.”

 

~*Jared*~

 

One month.

One fucking month, four weeks, and Jared had barely slept or eaten, and he hadn’t gotten more than a stitch of work done. Thoughts of Jensen dominated his every waking moment, and the few times he managed to sleep, all he saw was anguished green eyes. 

He hadn’t laughed, or smiled, and he felt like he was going through the motions of everyday life, hollow and unfeeling. The world had lost its color. He had even stopped writing completely, something he hadn’t done since he discovered his passion for it in middle school. 

Sighing, he dragged his body out of the car. Dragging a deep breath in, he idly noted the smell of cough drops, something he’d instinctively done since Jensen pointed it out to him.

_You shook off a leaf when you came into class. It smelt like cough drops…Eucalyptus leaves are the only leaves that smell like that. And this is the only neighborhood that has Eucalyptus trees along the sidewalk._

Jensen was so smart. He never realized it, but he was one of the most insightful, intelligent people Jared had ever met.

_I wish I could tell you that, Jen,_ he thought morosely. _I wish I’d have the guts to phone Sam, ask for your address and apologize to you on my hands and knees. But I don’t think I’d have the strength to see you again and come back to Sandy._

He’d tried to call Jensen before, but both his numbers were out of service. The dancer managed to avoid him the entire night of the party, and though it stung, he knew Jensen needed time. Facing his apartment block, he sighed in resignation. He took the stairs again, no more eager to come home than he had been that first night he’s spent talking to Jensen. Stopping outside the door, he tried to drudge up the will to go inside.

“Tonight’s great, Kathy!” he heard Sandy inside, babbling on the phone to her best friend. “God knows I need a drink.”

Jared frowned, annoyance and fear running through him at the thought of Sandy putting his son or daughter in danger like that. He raised his hand to twist the knob, go inside and tell Sandy to get a fucking grip, when the next words out of her mouth stopped him dead.

“I need to find a way to convince him to sleep with me,” Sandy whined. “I’m supposed to be ten weeks along, Kath. I managed to lie my way through things so far, telling him I was one of the lucky few who didn’t get morning sickness, but I’m supposed to start showing soon! And what about when I’m supposed to go for a check-up, and the doctor finds out there _is no fucking baby_?”

Shock made Jared stand still as a statue, unfathomable fury working into his veins, pulsing in time with his heartbeat.

“Don’t patronize me, Kath,” Sandy sniped, oblivious. “I _had_ to lie to him, or else I would have lost him to that fag of a dance instructor…”

And that was really the fucking tipping point. Nobody insulted his Jensen.

Jared slammed the door opened, unrepentant when the noise startled Sandy into a shriek. She dropped the phone, eyes going wide and her face paling dramatically. “Jare…”

“Don’t!” he thundered, struggling with every fiber of his being not to lose it completely. “You…you just…you lied…fucking hell, Sandy!” he slammed his fist onto the kitchen counter. “I…I lost…Jensen, I lost everything because of you! Jensen…”

_Jensen_. Oh, God, _Jensen._

Suddenly, his anger took a backseat, and he was filled head to toe with an overwhelming desperation to go to Jensen, to get him back, explain everything and plead with the man to take him back, give him one more chance. He scrambled out of the door, digging in his pockets for his keys as he half sprinted, half stumbled away. 

“Jared, don’t,” Sandy called tearfully after him. “We can still…”

He stopped where he was, and in three long strides, he was in front of her. “Don’t you dare say we can work this out,” he warned her in a cold, measured voice. “Jensen is the only reason why what you did is taking a backseat. If you ever come near me or Jensen again, you’ll regret it.”

Breathing heavily, he retreated from her, feeling lighter than he had in a month. His hands shook like crazy, but as he flung himself into the car and threw the car into gear, he finally managed to dial Sam’s number.

“Jared, hi…”

“I need Jensen’s address, Sam,” he blurted urgently. “Now! I need it right now, please Sam, please, it’s important.”

“You’re out of luck, Jared,” Sam told him, alarmed. “JR moved about a month ago. Just up and left, never told anyone. Left me an amazing wedding piece, but no forwarding information. You tried calling him?”

Jared didn’t bother answering, sending the woman a quick mental apology as he hung up, frantically searched his phone for Chris’ number, trying to drive to the studio one-handed as he did. 

_“Howdy, this is Christian…”_

“Fuck!” Jared cursed, pounding the steering wheel, his frustration compounding at the sight of the obviously deserted dance studio.

He stopped the car, fighting the urge to burst into tears. “Where are you, baby?” he whispered in anguish. 

_Yeah, I’m from Texas. Dallas, actually. Born and bred._

As clear as though the man were next to him, Jared heard Jensen’s easy Texan drawl, saw in his mind’s eye the easy smile that had accompanied it.

Starting up the car again, he swerved into a U-turn, pressing hard on the gas pedal. “Hello? I need your first available flight out to Dallas. My name is Jared Padalecki…”

 

~*Chris*~

 

Chris had tried. He’d begged, screamed, raged and threatened, until he had no voice, him and Danni both, but Jensen had staunchly refused to budge. 

Now he was in Dallas, the night before his best friend’s wedding to an abusive asshole that Jensen detested, and he had no clue why.

Jensen sat across the room from him, looking quietly out at the night sky. Danni was crying in their room over Jensen’s stubbornness, and Chris was…unable to give up.

He met Jensen Ackles when he was 3 years old. It didn’t matter how young they were; Chris remembered the entire thing in vivid detail. It was one of his earliest memories, in fact. They were in the same daycare, and Chris had just started there. He’d cried so hard the moment his mama set him down…until this three year old, no bigger than himself, with these huge, green eyes, scurried to him before dropping to his knees and wrapping him in a hug. Distraught, Chris had burrowed into the other boy’s arms, accepting the comfort of the stranger in a way only a toddler could. 

_“I’s be fwend,”_ he could hear Jensen’s voice if he remembered hard enough. _“No wowwy, I’s be bestest ever fwend.”_ Jensen had pulled back to clumsily wipe at his tears. _“No cwy, bestest ever Jensen fwend. No cwy, okay?”_

“Why didn’t you call me?” Chris asked softly, bringing himself back from memory lane. “You disappeared for a month and me and Danni had no clue where you were…I lost my fucking mind, man.”

“You would have stopped me,” Jensen answered simply, his voice hollow and deadened in a way Chris had never heard before. He nodded his acquiescence to that statement, blowing out a gusty sigh. Jensen turned to him, and Chris shuddered at the lifelessness in his brother’s normally sparkling green eyes. “But I was selfish,” he shrugged. “I need you at the wedding. I need…” Jensen’s eyes filled with tears, and he brushed tiredly at them. “I need a little extra bit of strength, and I understand if you can’t do this, Chris, but…”

“JR.” Chris was across the room in a few quick strides. Looking into his best friend and brother’s eyes, his heart shattered in his chest at the broken look he saw there. Jensen was the strongest man he’d ever known, and he hadn’t even broken when Justin had tried every physical means in the book. But now, Jared fucking Padalecki had managed the feat. And he wanted to kick the kid’s ass into next week…but he knew that the kid was the only one that could stop this now. If he even gave that much of a damn.

He needed to try, one more time. He grabbed his friend’s elbow, ignoring the flinch and the pain in his gut at the reaction, and aimed his most entreating look at Jensen. Eyes wide, sincerity and love splayed over his features in a way he’d rarely ever allowed, he begged with every last inch of his countenance.

“Please, JR…you don’t…whatever hold he has, whatever he’s got against you, we can figure it out, together. You…you don’t have to do this.”

Jensen’s posture crumbled, looking worn down and so fucking defeated that Chris wanted to scream and thrash and rebel against it with his heart and soul. “Yeah, Chris,” Jensen huffed a deadened, humorless, dark laugh at the irony of his next words.

“I do.”

 

~*Jensen*~

 

Jensen hated the look of despair on Chris’ face.

The look he had put there, by not having enough damn strength to get through a wedding. He was such a fucking weakling.

“I’m sorry, Chris, I shouldn’t have…”

“Don’t say that,” Chris told him gruffly, pulling him into a vice tight hug that made his busted ribs ache. Even so, Jensen held on to the embrace with everything he had in him. “You’re my brother, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than next to you.”

Tears leaked from his eyes, and Chris pulled back, cupping his face in a move so uncharacteristic, Jensen was almost worried. The long-haired man swiped roughly at his tears, a bittersweet smile lifting his lips. “Don’t cry,” he said softly, nostalgia tinging his tone, and Jensen instantly remembered the day they had met, the words he had spoken to the crying little boy in his arms. “Don’t worry, I’ll be your bestest ever friend.”

Jensen laughed thickly, the first half-real laugh to escape his lips in over a month. He grasped Chris’ forearms, nodding shakily. “You are my bestest ever friend, man,” he whispered thickly, feeling the need to say it. After the wedding, he knew with cold certainty he’d never see his friend again. Not _alive_ , at least. “You’re my brother. Thank you for being as strong as you always were and for holding me together when I couldn’t do it myself.”

Chris gripped his jaw, iron tight, as panic entered his eyes. He understood the confession, seeing it for the goodbye it was. “Don’t do this to me, Jensen,” he pleaded. “Don’t you do this to me. Not you.”

Jensen took a deep breath in, shuddering as he swallowed. “Go to bed, Chris,” he entreated softly. “I’ll see you in the morning. No homicides, okay? You have Danni to think about, and I need nephews named after me.” He winked, hoping his friend heard the ring of warning in his tone. 

Knowing the mutinous look on Chris’ face and unwilling to argue, Jensen steered his friend out, ignoring the protests. He opened the door, blood freezing in his veins when he saw Justin standing outside. 

Putting himself in between Chris and Justin, Jensen managed to navigate Justin into his room without letting Chris get close enough to strike out. More concerned about his friend’s safety, he shut the door in Chris’ fuming face, turning to face the man he was promising himself to. 

“What do you want, Justin?” he asked wearily, his exhaustion bone-deep and quickly seeping into his soul. 

“Just making sure you’re not having second thoughts, Jenny,” Justin smirked casually. “Remember the deal. You marry me, and I make sure it never gets to Lover Boy’s wife that he had an affair with you.”

“I know the deal,” Jensen returned monotonously. Any semblance of fire he’d once had, was quickly stripped away with the daily beatings…although he was right that night, when he’d realized there was no worse pain than losing Jared.

“Lover boy is married now, you know?” Justin taunted him. “Fucking happy with his white picket fence, his girl glowing. Didn’t take him much to get over you,” Justin snorted, “or into you, for that matter.”

Jensen pretended to ignore the barb, hard-pressed to show Justin his mangled and bleeding heart. His own personal monster thrived on the torture though, and was soon describing in great detail all the reasons why Jensen was an easy cockslut, who spread his legs for anyone who told him he was pretty.

_Till death do us part…I can’t fucking wait._

 

~*Jared*~

 

Jared’s leg was bouncing, a physical manifestation of his impatience as he sat on the plane. Though he knew in his mind that he was going the fastest he could possibly go without a miracle or a magic genie or whatever, some part of him till screamed at him that he needed to get to Jensen, as soon as humanly possible. He didn’t understand the rush, but he also didn’t question it; the only coherent thought in his head was getting to Jensen, feeling overwhelmingly like he would lose the beautiful man if he didn’t get to him quickly enough.

The buzzing of his phone in his pocket distracted Jared. “Yeah?”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your wife and white picket fence, Padalecki, but you better get your Goddamn ass to Dallas right the fuck now or you’re gonna have both me and Danneel to deal with!”

“Huh?” Jared eloquently blurted, Christian’s rant confusing him on so many levels. “You’re giving me a lot to process here, Christian.”

“Process this, asshole,” Chris growled. “Jensen is _getting married_. To that abusive fucker, Justin. Because of you! You broke him, Jared, something not even Justin was able to do! Now you get the fuck here and fix it!”

Jared’s stomach turned and he swallowed convulsively to stop himself from retching. He held on to the seat with a white-knuckled grip, breath coming out in sharp pants. “He’s doing what?!” he managed to choke out. “Why? Why would he do that?”

“Because he wanted you to have your apple pie life,” Chris accused angrily. “Justin’s threatening to tell your wife that you two had an affair if Jensen doesn’t marry him!”

Confusion battled with desperation in Jared’s heart. “I don’t understand,” he finally forced the words out, his body trembling with rage and fear combined. “Why do you keep calling her my wife? And we didn’t have an affair!”

“Fucking Hartley’s been telling Jensen you’re happily married to that brunette bitch,” Chris bit off scathingly. 

Jared cursed a blue streak, ignoring the dirty looks it earned him. “I’m not married to her, I never…” he clenched his fists, fighting for control. “Hartley is lying,” he hurled out. “Sandy lied too! She was never pregnant, she just wanted to keep me away from Jensen. He’s in Dallas?” Hope spread through Jared as he finally registered the first part of Chris’ statement. “I’m on a plane already, I had a feeling he might have gone back home. I’m coming, Chris, I need…” he huffed out a gusty sigh, wiping irritably at the tears that had started streaming from his eyes. “I need Jensen, I need to get him back.”

“No!” Chris snapped. “All you’re going to do is tell Jensen that he doesn’t need to keep your dirty little secret anymore, because you and Sandy are through. But you don’t get to get him back, you’ve hurt him enough already!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Jared growled back, pain clawing at his insides. “I didn’t know Sandy was pregnant when I was with Jensen, and I didn’t know at the time that she was lying!”

Jared was met with silence, and he wondered briefly whether Jensen’s friend had hung up on him. “Chris?”

“You didn’t know?” Chris’ low, horrified voice did nothing to help the confusion of the conversation. 

Jared huffed, his annoyance spiking. “Of course I didn’t know! I love Jensen, I would have never hurt him like that.”

“That bitch!” Chris bellowed, and Jared heard something break on the other end. “She came to Jensen and started gushing on about how he was the one to thank for your relationship getting rekindled! She told him that y’all knew about the baby the whole time, and waited until then to announce it. That’s why Jensen thought you were having an affair with him, and that everything that happened was a lie! It’s the only reason he’s keeping the fucking secret and marrying that asshole tomorrow!”

Despair mixed with rage at the revelation, making for a sickening combination. “It was a lie,” he lamented softly. “Everything was a lie. Chris you have to stop him,” Jared begged urgently. “You have to tell him what I said, you can’t let him marry that bastard!”

“He’s not gonna listen to me!” Chris hissed despondently. “He’ll think that I’m lying, he knows I’ll do anything to stop him from doing this. It needs to be you.”

“What time is the wedding?” he asked, steel determination filling him. “I’m not gonna let him do this.”

“It’s at noon tomorrow,” Chris reported grimly. “The church on main.”

“I’ll be there, Chris,” he assured the other man, hesitating a little before adding, “please try to stall as much as you can, just in case. I can’t let this happen, I won’t let him go.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end, before Chris’ voice came back, softer. “Good. I’m glad you didn’t hurt him intentionally. I really didn’t want to have to kill you, not when Jensen loves you as much as he does.”

Jared’s breath caught in his throat. “Jen…he loves me?” he asked, cautious hope budding inside him.

Chris snorted. “Jensen swore that he would never let Justin back into his life. He’s willing to endure a lifetime of abuse to ensure that you have what he thinks is a happy life. I’ve known Jensen since I was three years old. He’s never loved anyone more.”

Chris hung up, and Jared gave into his tears, pressing his forehead against the cool glass of the plane’s window. _Please_ , he prayed fervently, _please don’t take him away from me again, please. I can’t lose him a second time._

 

~*Jensen*~

 

“Do you remember that time you took the fall when I broke Mom’s favorite mug?”

Jensen turned at the unexpected voice, straightening his tie as he did so. Josh, his older brother, leaned against the doorjamb, hands in his pockets, smiling slightly at him. Arching an eyebrow, he wondered silently what his older brother was getting at.

“You must have been about 6?” Josh continued, closing the door and strolling in, stopping in front of Jensen to straighten his tie for him. Jensen nodded as he spoke, remembering the day in question. “I ran to hide under the bed and you told dad it was you, even though you saw me break it. Through your spanking, you never told him the truth…” Josh huffed, patting the side of his face fondly. “I remember being horrified…I was so angry with myself for letting you do that.”

“If memory serves,” Jensen interrupted, “you ran out as soon as you heard me scream. You kept telling Dad that it was your fault, that you broke the mug, but Dad thought you were covering for me.”

“Exactly, because it was what I was supposed to do,” Josh stressed ruefully. “I’m the older one, I was supposed to be protecting you. I told you that too…do you remember what you said?”

Jensen frowned, searching his mind and coming up blank. “What?”

“You told me that little brothers can take a turn protecting big brothers once in a while,” Josh murmured, warmth and love as clear as crystal in his voice, in his eyes. “Jensen…I get the feeling that you’ve been protecting me for a long time now.”

Jensen averted his eyes. He hoped to hell Josh wasn’t referring to Jensen protecting him by keeping the abuse and their father’s involvement a secret, because he wasn’t sure he was ready to let Josh face that harsh truth.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, trying for a light tone. Josh sighed cavernously. 

“You’re not happy, JR,” he pulled Jensen’s elbow, forcing their eyes to meet. Jensen cringed at the plea he could read in the green eyes that were so like his own. “Don’t tell me you are, because you know I know you better than that. You were never happy with Justin, not really…so why are you marrying him?”

Jensen breathed a silent exhale of relief, dropping his gaze, pleased that Josh hadn’t caught on to the bigger secrets Jensen was keeping. “I’m happy enough, Josh.”

“Bullshit,” his brother immediately retorted. “You’re protecting someone, Jensen. I know you…” he angled Jensen’s face to his again. “Let me protect you this time, little brother. It’s my turn. Whatever is happening, whoever you’re protecting, just let me do it this time. Come on, little brother.”

“Jensen!” they heard Alan Ackles call out. “It’s about time. Are you ready?”

The man pushed the door open, casting a suspicious look at the brothers. Josh still hadn’t moved, ignoring their father, and Jensen was barely keeping his composure, fighting tooth and nail not to lose it and curl into his brother’s arms, ask Josh to fix this, fix him.

_You can’t be fixed,_ a voice inside him supplied, sounding suspiciously like Justin’s. _You’re broken, Jensen. No one can fix you. Don’t hurt them by making them try. Don’t take them down with you._

Jensen leaned forward, hugging his brother before pressing a rough, brief kiss to his temple. Suddenly, he felt infinitely older than his brother. “I’m always gonna try to protect you, big brother.”

With that passing whisper, Jensen forced himself to pull away, nodding at his father once before making his way towards the church. 

He held his head high, even though walking down the aisle felt awfully like he was walking death row. Drawing strength from the love of his brother, his sister, his mother and his friends, Jensen walked.

Drawing strength from the memory of the man he loved, Jensen said the words, _“I do.”_

He lifted his hand to allow Justin to put the ring on his finger. _Till death do us…_

“STOP!”

 

~*Jared*~

 

Never before had adrenaline mixed with terror in such a volatile combination inside him before. Jared sprinted through the airport, barked endlessly at the cab driver, and had another sprint to the church.

But he was in time.

Jensen jerked violently at his shout, and Jared saw the glint of the ring…that wasn’t around Jensen’s finger yet. He sobbed out in relief, starting forward, his eyes only for the beautiful man he loved more than he knew he was possible of loving. Seeing his broken, hollow eyes- eyes that once sparkled with mischief- almost brought Jared to his knees. Even so, Jensen was the most beautiful thing he’d seen in a month. He kept moving doggedly forward, ignoring the relief that made him weak-limbed and the great gasping breaths he took now that he had the dancer in his sights and could finally fucking breath for the first time in a month.

A man stepped in front of him, looking vaguely menacing, and Jared was more than ready to put him on the floor. He tensed, but before the man could take another step, Jensen was in motion.

“Don’t!” he barked, and in the next second, he was in front of Jared, pushing the man away warningly with fire in his eyes.

God, that fire was the most stunning thing. Because, Jared knew, it meant that the love of his life was not broken. Not just yet. Hurt, but not broken.

His strong, amazing dancer.

“Jensen!” Justin snapped, the promise of violence seeping into his eyes enough to set Jared off. 

“Don’t you talk to him,” Jared snarled, trying to get passed Jensen to the asshole at the alter. “Don’t you even say his name again!”

Gentle hands settled on his hips, stopping his forward motion, hands he would have known anywhere in the world, blindfolded.

“Don’t, Jared,” Jensen mumbled. He turned around to face shattered, pleading green orbs. “Go back to your wife, your child. Your life.”

“You _are_ my life,” he insisted ardently, cradling Jensen’s face in his palms. “Everything you think you know…everything Sandy told you, everything that bastard told you, it’s all lies. I never married Sandy and she was never pregnant, I swear it to you, baby. I never cheated, and I meant every word I said to you that night.” Jared pressed his forehead to Jensen’s, hoping the other man’s shock was an indicator that he believed him. “I came for you, Jen. Not a day went by when I haven’t thought about you, missed you like a limb. Tell me that you missed me too. Tell me that you still want me, tell me that it isn’t too late for us. Tell me you love me like I love you.” Jared pulled back, only to bore his hazel eyes into Jensen’s wide, tear-filled green ones. “You’re my heart and my soul, Jen, and I can’t live without you.”

“Jared…” Jensen breathed, tears falling from his eyes. “I…”

“Oh, enough of this,” Jared heard an exasperated gripe before Jensen was being yanked violently away from him. 

And, really, Justin fucking Hartley had tried his patience just one time too many. But putting his hands on Jared’s Jensen?

Game fucking over.

Jared tackled the man to the floor, straddling him before pummeling his fists into Hartley’s face, his gut. “Don’t touch him ever again!” he punctuated each word with a punch. 

He heard shouts all around him, knew that someone was trying to pull him off, but the force of his fury, a month’s worth of it, came bleeding out. 

“Jared…Jay!” Finally, it was Jensen’s voice that got through to him, and he stopped, allowing himself to be dragged off Hartley. Jensen pulled him gently to the side, grabbing his hands and inspecting the raw, bloody, split open knuckles. Trying to calm himself down, lest he scare Jensen, Jared focused on the dancer’s downturned face, taking in the gentle sweep of his jaw and the freckles that he loved so much. 

“…have that maniac arrested!” a man was spitting, finally tearing Jared’s attention away from Jensen. The resemblance was astonishing, and Jared found his temper rearing again.

“You’d like to have me arrested, but you’re perfectly fine having full knowledge of that son of a bitch beating your son?” Jared asked scathingly, unheeding of Jensen’s quiet pleas to keep quiet. “Two years! Two years you sat by and did nothing when that monster was abusing Jensen!”

Over the gasps, came one, measured voice, fused with deadly intent. “You did _what?”_

A tall man, with also a strong resemblance enough for Jared to assume it was Jensen’s brother, stepped forward, coming to stand in front of them. 

“You knew, and you let that bastard hurt my baby brother?” he asked dangerously, the fury bubbling close to the surface. Sensing this, Jensen abandoned Jared’s hands to stand in front of his brother.

“Josh, please…” he pleaded in a small voice, sounding younger than Jared had ever heard him sound. “I’m sorry…”

“Shh…” Josh wrapped his arms around Jensen, pulling him tightly in and clamping a hand on the back of his neck, speaking so softly that Jared had to strain to hear them. “Shh, little brother, you’ve done nothing wrong, you don’t have to apologize for anything. I’m sorry, so sorry I didn’t protect you better.”

Jensen cried softly into his brother’s shoulder, his sobs echoing in the now-still church. Jared saw Josh flick his head at Hartley, and Chris and another man stepped forward, both of them grabbing him none too gently and dragging him away, heedless of his groans of pain. 

“You.” Josh leveled an icy gaze at his father. “Get out of my sight before I think better of it and clock you like I want to.”

Josh inclined his head towards Jensen, speaking softly, his voice infinitely gentler. “It’s okay, little brother, everything’s okay…my turn, let me protect you this time…” Jensen nodded, seeming to get the meaning behind the words, and Jared made a mental note to ask about the story behind it. A young girl- Jensen’s sister, Jared hazarded a guess- came forward, devastation rippling her features, to join in the hug. 

“Mackie, take Jensen back home,” Josh ordered the girl, who nodded tearfully. 

Josh turned to him, a look of gratitude on his face, intermingled with a warning glare. “Thank you,” he shook Jared’s hand. “Thank you for doing this. Protecting Jensen when I couldn’t. I gathered that you’re in love with him?” Jared nodded his assent, and Josh’s grip on his hand tightened marginally. “Then you take my warning more seriously than that asshole. You ever hurt my baby brother, you ever so much as mildly upset him, and you’ll be dead before you hit the ground, you understand me?” Jared felt the weight of the promise in Josh’s darkening green eyes, nodding solemnly. 

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, I’ve let Chris and Jason take their turn at him,” Josh jerked his head to point behind him. “It’s my turn to bruise the fucker as much as he did my brother.”

“Jensen wouldn’t want you in trouble,” Jared felt compelled to point out, eager not to cause his beautiful dancer any more pain. 

Josh grinned darkly. “Every single person here loves JR to a fault. None of them are here for Hartley, because no one cared enough about him to show. There isn’t a person in here that will testify to anything is Hartley tries to open a case, not now that they know what he did to Jensen.”

Jared couldn’t help but snort, nodding his acquiescence. Drained of all his rage, he once again could think of nothing but getting back to his love’s arms. To stay, if he had anything to say about it. “Josh, I need to…”

“Our house is just up the road,” Josh interrupted him with a knowing grin. “Last house on the street, you can’t miss it.”

“Thank you.”

###

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw! Now just for the reconciliation, and some gratuitous schmoop. Unless...do you guys want an epilogue, with some closure on where the boys went thereafter? Let me know!
> 
> -JayGirl


	4. I don't dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of the songs used belong to me! Interestingly enough, the second song is called I Don't Dance, by Lee Brice. One of the most amazing songs I've ever heard, and the inspiration for this piece! Check it out!
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long! It took a turn I didn't even expect, so we're going to round it off with the next chapter!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

~*Jensen*~

_Well, what’s a wedding without a little drama?_

Jensen winced as the thought crossed his mind, chagrined at the callousness of his thoughts. He was so drained, in every way, that none of his mental filters seemed to be working, and as his sniffling baby sister led him to his old bedroom, he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

His chest hurting at her obvious pain, he stopped her forward motion by tugging their interlinked hands until she came willingly into his open arms, falling into the embrace the way she used to when she was a kid, and when nightmares brought her to his bedside in the middle of the night.

“S’alright, Mack-aroon, everything is alright,” he mumbled, just like he used to. He was happy when she huffed a small laugh, despite the tears soaking his suit. She snuggled deeper into his chest, clutching almost desperately at him.

“Why didn’t you tell us, JR?” she asked, pulling back just enough to punch his collarbone. The tears cascading down her cheeks and the crack in her voice did Jensen in. “You always told me I should call you if my boyfriends so much as looked at me weirdly.”

“As well you should,” Jensen responded sharply, aiming a stern look at her before sighing gustily. “I didn’t want you to hate dad. And…” Jensen hesitated, swallowing convulsively and absently smoothing the top of his little sister’s hair. Eventually, it was her wide, pleading green eyes that were so like his own, that prompted him to confess. “I didn’t want you to think differently of me,” he told her softly, feeling tears escape the confines of his long lashes. He wiped at her responding tears, unheeding of his own, thumbs carefully swiping down her cheeks. “I didn’t want you to ever hesitate to call me if you needed help, and I thought you would if you knew how weak I was.” Mack shook her head vehemently, as much as she could with her face entrapped between Jensen’s palms.

“You’re not weak, JR,” she denied strongly. “You’re the strongest man I’ve ever known. I’ve looked up to you ever since we were kids…you were my infallible big brother, my superhero. Even with Josh there, you were always the one who tucked me under your arm and told me I’d be okay, as long as you were around. You taught me how to tie my laces and how to ride a bike and throw a punch. You took me to carnivals and movies and you let me climb into bed with you when I had a nightmare or when there was a storm.” Mack hiccupped around a sob, and Jensen trembled with the force of his own repressed tears. “JR, you were strong enough to be my untouchable big brother, and my best friend, and my teacher, and my cheering squad. You were strong enough to take on all my issues, and our family’s, over and above your own. You were strong enough to stand alone, even when the world turned its back on you. You were strong enough to always be strong for me, for Josh, for mom…for all of us. How could you think for one second that you were ever weak?”

Jensen pressed his forehead against his little sister’s, close to breaking point. “I let him do this to me, Mackie. How can that…”

“You didn’t _let him_ do anything.”

Jensen breath caught in his chest at the strong, deep voice that he thought for sure he would never hear again.

He turned sharply, the name leaving his lips in a breathy gasp. “Jared.”

The tall, muscular man looked just like Jensen remembered him, resembled perfectly the living Adonis Jensen crafted out of memory in his mind, for the times when Justin’s beatings became too much. The only thing missing, was the sparkle that Jensen had once thought was perpetual in his hazel eyes.

Jared started towards him, a cacophony of emotions splattered across his face. “You stayed with that abusive bastard to protect me, to protect what you thought I wanted.”

Jensen couldn’t help the instinctive step he took backwards, his body reacting to the pain he’d been in the past month. He still remembered the crippling agony, more potent that any physical pain, that had come from Jared, and while he was open to an explanation, he also needed some illusion of protection. 

Wrapping his arms around himself, Jensen unthinkingly angled himself in front of Mackenzie, a protective gesture that he knew was unnecessary, but was hard to get rid of after Justin. 

“Whoever you are,” Mack piped up, still subtly angled behind him, “you better start explaining that real quick.”

Jensen smiled briefly at the protectiveness in his baby sister’s tone. 

“You must be Mackenzie,” Jared smiled warmly at her, making Jensen’s heart clench at the sparkle that finally came back to the man’s eyes. “You’re exactly the way Jensen talked about you.”

“Jared was…” Jensen hesitated, eyes flicking to the floor before returning to meet Mackenzie’s. “He was a student in my dance class.”

“And your brother was- and still is- the love of my life,” Jared added unabashedly, making Jensen splutter. He looked at the floppy-haired man incredulously, all the hurt of that fateful night coming back to him with almost debilitating force.

“You and Sandy…”

“There was no me and Sandy, baby,” Jared interrupted him ardently, taking a step closer. “I swear it to you, Jen, I would never have lied to you, hurt you, like that. Ever since the day I met you, I knew there was something about you, but it wasn’t until that day a month ago, when I thought I had lost you, and today when I thought I was about to lose you a second time, that I realized that I’ve been in love with you since the word ‘go’, baby.” As he spoke, Jared edged forward instinctively with the passion behind his words, and Jensen was surprised at the lack of need to get away.

His mind flashed back to the words Jared spoke in the church, his heart clenching with sympathy for the man he loved as he finally processed the meaning behind Jared’s words.

“Sandy lied about being pregnant?” Jensen asked in a low voice, fixating on that, chest aching for the pain Jared must have experienced at the betrayal. “Jay, oh God, I’m so sorry…are you okay?”

Jared laughed, but it wasn’t a bitter sound. It was awed and loving and open.

“Only you would go through hell, and be more worried about whether I was okay. Jen, I’m more than fine,” he admitted freely, and Jensen was glad to see the truth in his hazel orbs. “At that moment, all it really meant to me, was getting back to you. I was only with Sandy because I thought I had an obligation to fulfill. But I meant what I said back at that church; not a day went by when I didn’t miss every part of you like a limb.”

While Jensen was struck speechless, his sister didn’t seem to share in the emotion. “That’s enough for me,” she declared softly. “Jen,” she turned to him, “I’m gonna find Josh and explain the gist of what I understand is going on here. I’ll be within shouting distance if you need me. I love you.”

Leaning over, she pecked Jensen’s cheek and made her way around him, stopping only at the door to issue a similar warning as Josh. “You hurt him,” she whispered fiercely, “and what my brother does to you will seem like a walk in Disneyland.”

It was equal parts amusing and heartwarming to witness his kid sister being protective of him, and it was also enough to snap him out of his inaction. 

Uncertainty splashed over his features as he wrapped his arms around himself. As cautious as though he were approaching a skittish colt, Jared edged forward, and Jensen hated the tension that was suddenly in the air. Since the get-go, they had been at perfect ease with each other.

Had too much changed between them now? Did Jared see him as weak? Did he realize how unworthy Jensen was? He wouldn’t blame Jared if he rethought the display of love. He didn’t know how broken Jensen had become. Thought that Jensen was still the man he’d left behind a month ago.

Was one month, and being with people they didn’t want to be with, each for their own reasons, enough to crumble their already-rocky foundation?

 

~*Jared*~

 

Nervousness he’d never had in front of Jensen before flooded Jared’s insides. How was he supposed to handle this? He still blamed himself for being so stupid to believe Sandy. His naïve, foolhardy actions was the sole reason that the man he loved looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It was the sole reason that Jensen had endured so much pain and suffering in the past month, and it was the reason that they’d nearly lost each other forever. 

How could he expect Jensen to forgive him that?

But his strong, beautiful dancer was standing there, emerald eyes wide and lips slightly parted, looking vulnerable even while Jared knew the raw strength the man exuded that even Jensen himself seemed unaware of. 

Damn if he wasn’t going to beg on his hands and knees, if that was what it would take. 

“Are you mad at me?” he asked in a small voice, his brow furrowed in trepidation for Jensen’s answer. The dancer looked confused, biting his bottom lip temptingly.

“Mad at you?” he echoed, his voice rough from tears and lack of use. “God, Jared, why would I be mad?”

“I stayed with her…” Jared blurted, tortured. “I hurt you, I actually believed her, I was so naïve…”

“Jared.” Jensen shook his head once. “You staying with Sandy? No doubt, it hurt me…” he huffed out a bitter sound. “Fucking broke me, actually,” he admitted bluntly, not noticing Jared’s flinch. “But it also showed me…proved to me, that despite everything, you’ll always do the right thing.” Jensen shrugged lightly, still so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t appear to notice Jared coming closer. “That’s really…it’s important to me. To know that you’ll always do what’s right. And I figure that if Sandy lied about being pregnant, it isn’t so far off to assume that she lied about you knowing about it?”

“I didn’t know,” Jared confirmed with a nod, eyes pleading as he inched closer still. “I would never have hurt you like that.”

“I believe you, for some reason,” Jensen shook his head, almost in amazement. “As for you thinking Sandy was telling the truth…that’s nothing to apologize for.” A ghost of Jensen’s normally city-lighting smile flickered over his drawn features. “Your naiveté, as you call it? The way you believe the best of everyone and everything? Your optimism? Your faith in people? All things I don’t really have, and all things that I loved most about you.”

“Loved?” Jared whitened at the past tense. “Do you…” he boldly stepped the last few inches forward. “Do you still love me?” 

He reached out to Jensen, hand poised to gently turn the man around to face him, and Jensen finally realized he was there. Acting instinctively as he was caught off guard, Jensen flinched visibly away, cringing into himself as though he were expecting a blow. 

The sight was what made Jared come apart at the seams. 

“Jensen…” he breathed in horror, as the man he loved straightened, an almost guilty look in his green eyes. “Oh, God…what did he…are you…did he…?” Jared choked on his words, struggling to get them out. Eventually, hands trembling, he tried to find out for himself, shakily attempting to rip open the dancer’s shirt, buttons popping as he did, ignoring Jensen’s hands batting him away. 

“Jared, stop, please,” Jensen entreated softly, his voice thick, “don’t…don’t do this...”

It was the helpless tone in Jen’s voice that stopped Jared’s frantic motions. For the first time, he realized that even if his actions were born from love and wanting to help Jensen, he would ultimately be no better than Hartley if he didn’t listen to Jen.

He stopped his hands by force of willpower alone. His entire body was shaking, and some distant part of him registered it when Jensen wrapped his arms around him. He leaned his forehead against the dancer’s shoulder, gulping in breaths of air. “Please,” he whispered, his voice wrecked. “Please, Jen…let me…”

“Why?”

“Because I love you more than anything in the world. And I need for you to let me help, because I think I’m going to go crazy if I feel any more helpless than I already do.”

Jared hadn’t intended to answer as honestly as he did, but being that Jensen’s first nature seemed to be easing his pain, the blatant truth had definitely worked in his favor. 

The dancer reluctantly took his shirt off, not moving away from Jared’s proximity, and after taking a deep breath, dropped the whiter than white shirt to the floor.

Nothing could have possibly prepared Jared for what he saw.

His breath left his lungs in an audible whoosh and it felt like someone had sucker punched him in the gut. Various shades of black, blue and mottled purple decorated his beautiful dancer’s body, speaking of injuries sustained as recently as this morning. Scars that Jared knew hadn’t been there last month, now adorned the smooth skin, and every inch of his lover should, by all rights and demands, be aching.

All the harsh and painful colors drained from Jared’s field of vision as a crimson sheen took its place. “I’m going to _fucking kill_ him,” he growled, stumbling backwards, homicidal rage inciting his veins. He fumbled for the door knob, muttering curses under his breath as he did, trying to see past the red.

“Jared, no.” Jensen laid a hand on his shoulder, calming, placating. As if by magic, all the fury drained from him, replaced with an overwhelming, red hot love. He turned around, the bruises hitting him like a freight train all over again, bringing with it staggering grief.

His knees buckled and he dropped to the floor in front of Jensen, grabbing the dancer around his legs and pressing the side of his face into Jensen’s stomach. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, tortured. “I’m so sorry, Jen, this is all my fault, I’m sorry…”

“No, Jay…”

“Yes!” Agony ripped unforgivingly through him, the bitter stench of guilt clinging to him, clogging his senses. He had failed the love of his life, and Jen had to get hurt because of his monstrous mess-up. Nothing had ever stung this much before; nothing had ever been as bad as this feeling, outside of the feeling of losing Jensen. “I should have protected you, Jen! I should have manned the fuck up and hunted you down when all this happened. I should have explained it all to you before this, and then none of this would have happened, you wouldn’t have had to clean up my mess, and…”

“Yeah,” Jensen nodded suddenly, looking at him with the barest hint of challenge in his otherwise guarded eyes. “Yeah, you could have done all that. If you had, at least I would have been able to move forward. And by move forward, I mean move to the other side of the world to avoid dealing with everything. And then of course this reunion could have never happened, and we’d both live our lives remembering the second chance we never got. Sure,” he nodded, sarcasm entering his voice for the first time since Jared saw him a month ago, “that plan would have a real great happy ending.”

For a single moment, all that could be heard was the labored breaths of two men; one man daring to hope against hope, and another who hoped he had the strength to be daring.

“What about _this_ plan?” Jared was almost too afraid to ask. “Does _this_ plan get a second chance? A…” his breath hitched slightly, “…a happy ending?”

For the longest time, the two men stared at each other, a loaded silence filling the air around them. Jared tried to pour every last inch of love into his hazel eyes, while Jensen tried hard to keep the shutters over his own emerald orbs. Jared fought the urge to sweep his lover up into his arms, at the same time that Jensen was trying his hardest not to take the easy route and run away. Jared’s driving power was love…and Jensen’s was fear.

Two equally potent emotions that more often than not, warred fiercely with each other. 

Love versus Fear.

A fight that could yield the greatest prize of all, or deliver the breaking blow.

After what seemed like an eternity to the hazel-eyed writer, Jensen picked up his head. The awful shutters were gone, and though the raw emotion and feeling was difficult to see, Jared took it all without complaint, wordlessly taking half the load off Jensen’s shoulders. 

“I think the happy ending depends on what happens after today,” Jensen said quietly, darting his tongue quickly over his bottom lip, “but…” he hesitated for a second before pushing aside his obvious terror, “I’m not against second chances.”

Relief made Jared weak, and he stumbled forward, more or less collapsing into Jensen’s arms. Wrapping his arms around Jensen’s waist, they held on like they were afraid some other force was conspiring to tear them apart, and to an extent, if Jared were honest, he was. As if he’d sensed it, Jensen pulled him in tighter, stroking his hair until his muscles relaxed and he stopped shaking. Jared stayed huddled into Jensen’s chest until he felt settled.

And all this time, Jared wondered how he hadn’t seen it. Bigger than Jen, taller, more built, he’d always somehow seen them as him taking care of Jensen. But every step of the way, with his compassion and tenderness and love, Jensen was the one taking care of him. Sure, he was the muscle protection, even as intimidating as Jensen could be when he wanted to be. But Jensen protected Jared’s heart. Even at the risk of his own. And finding the strength from the taut, corded arms around him, Jared sat up, and turned the tables by manhandling Jensen into his lap and dwarfing him in a bear hug. After a moment, Jensen relaxed into his chest, and that part of Jared that had been off-kilter ever since he made the almost life-ruining mistake of leaving Jensen, finally fell back into place. 

He was home.

 

~*Jensen*~

 

“I just got done with my last class, Chris, I’ll wrap up here and meet you at Sweet Treats as soon as I can. God knows I don’t trust you with Jared’s cake.”

Jensen chuckled at his best friend’s choice response. Waving at his newest lot of students, he felt a pang as he thought back to the day he’d met Jared. It seemed like so long ago now.

It was a little two years ago that he’d first met the floppy-haired love of his life. No matter how many times since then that he’d had a new group of dancers to introduce the art-form to, he never failed to remember that day every single time; from the stray Eucalyptus leave falling to the floor, to the goofy proclamation of Jared’s two left feet. It was the day that changed his life forever; Jensen thought he was entitled to a little bit of reminiscence. 

Looking back, he wondered idly how he’d ever thought he could have resisted Jared’s moth-to-a-flame charm. He was as powerless then as he was now, against the wide, hazel puppy-dog eyes and the bright, 1000-watt grin that never failed to brightened the room. 

Bidding Chris goodbye, Jensen busied himself wiping the sweat off his forehead and neck, all the while absently playing with the little silver key-holder ring that hung around his neck, suspended on a black cord.

He smiled to himself as he thought about the amount of times people had asked him what that was about. His response varied depending on the mood, but most of the time, he left the story to people’s imaginations. None ever guessed it, but he would never have expected it in a million years, so he didn’t really blame them…

 

_~Eighteen months ago~_

 

“Okay guys,” Jensen clapped his hands authoritatively, looking at the group of people in front of him. “Today is Judgement Day. Everyone remember their places?” He waited patiently until a general murmur of assent reached his ears. “Good. Today…this is very important to me, okay? Everything has to be perfect! And smile; after all, it’s a wedding.” He bit the top of the pen he was using, careful not to drop any ink on to his perfectly crisp white shirt and his new suit.

He got several encouraging nods and grins, and a couple thumbs-up. All of a sudden, warm, strong arms wrapped firmly around his waist from behind. He instantly relaxed in the familiar embrace, smiling softly as gentle kisses landed on the nape of his neck. 

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he reminded Jared softly, even as he snuggled into the broad chest, latching his hands onto the corded muscles encircling his middle in a bid to keep the taller man from moving away. “You’re supposed to be…”

“Just mind Jensen,” Chris suddenly appeared, grinning at the hugging couple. “He’s overly anxious about the wedding.”

“Everything is going to work out fine, babe,” Jared nipped the tip of his ear, soothing the slight bite by licking over it. “You’ll see.”

“I agree with the Sasquatch,” Tom, a new dancer in his group, smiled teasingly at him. “You’re stressing about this wedding like it’s yours or something! Sam’s the bride, and even she’s not as freaked out as you are!” Tom shuddered dramatically. “Imagine the day you get married…I don’t envy you, Jared.”

Scowling, Jensen flicked his pen at the laughing man’s head, clipping him on the forehead. Tom’s eyes sparkled playfully, and Jensen thought it was a pity the ink hadn’t mysteriously cast all over him too. 

Turning to face his boyfriend of the past eight months, Jensen was worried to see the vacant look in his hazel eyes. Jared was looking at him…Jensen felt ridiculous to even think it, but…almost…reverentially. It was the look of a man who had woken up after years of being asleep…the look of a man who had gone days without water and come across an oasis. A man who had lost it all only to find salvation.

“Jay?” Jensen felt his eyes widen in his confusion, wondering whether Jared wasn’t feeling well. “Are you okay? You look like…I don’t know, like you’ve got the answer to world peace and the cure to cancer all at one go.”

“The answer to world peace is easy,” a smooth voice sounded over the general din and Jensen’s internal freak-out. “Jared thinks that a smile from you would do the trick.”

Jensen snickered, craning his neck to see Chad Michael Murray over Jared’s shoulder. Although the blond man was Jared’s friend, immensely obnoxious, and hit on Jensen for the sole purpose of pushing his best friend’s buttons, Jensen found that he liked the man most out of all Jared’s friends. Not only because he’d become Jensen’s friend too, but also because despite his goofy exterior, Chad resonated loyalty, and was one of the most genuinely loving people Jensen knew. 

Chad’s comment served to jerk Jared from whatever reverie he’d been in, and his boyfriend turned a glare at the blond man, arm wrapping possessively around Jensen’s waist. He rolled his eyes, but didn’t push his lover away.

“Are you ever going to stop flirting with my boyfriend?” Jared huffed, pouting like a child. Chad smirked, sending an exaggerated wink at Jensen, one that he knew was designed to show Jared that Chad was kidding around.

“The moment the gorgeous Mr. Ackles realizes that he’s way out of your league,” Chad answered, and Jensen snorted at the ludicrous idea. 

“If anything,” he shrugged unthinkingly, “Jared’s the one out of my league.” He leaned up to press a kiss to the edge of Jared’s jaw, and before the bigger man could protest his statement, it came time for his dancers to get ready to perform.

When Sam had initially approached him and asked him to choreograph a dance that would kick-start the wedding reception, he’d cautiously agreed. He assembled a group of his own former students so that there wouldn’t have to be a lot of teaching involved, and despite Sam’s continuous pleas, he refused to include himself in the dance. Truth was…

_Crash!_

Jensen jerked his head towards the noise to see Antonio, one of his best dancers, on the floor, clutching his left ankle and writhing in agony. Feeling his face pale enough to match Antonio’s, Jensen rushed to the pained dancer, Jared and Chad close on his heels. Working professionally and efficiently, he cleared some breathing space around the fallen man and gently maneuvered the already-swelling, bruised limb into his lap. With as much gentleness as he could muster, he checked the injury over, murmuring soothingly under his breath the whole while; his experience in injuries for once, came in handy.

“Just a slight sprain,” he announced, to no one in particular, before focusing a grim face on his friend. “Be that as it may, I don’t want you putting any pressure on it. You’re not going out there tonight.”

There was an instant smattering of discord among his team, and for a good reason; Antonio was performing a complicated solo as a penultimate act, just before the final chorus. Without him, they were one couple odd, and sans a solo dancer. Agitation steadily rose in the dancer, realizing that the logical course of action would be for him to step in.

But that…that couldn’t be an option.

Gentle hands pulled him away before he could try to formulate a new plan of action. 

“Babe.” 

Jensen looked up at his boyfriend, exhaling shakily with the force of the pressure he was under. “Jay?”

Jared fixed him with a firm stare. “Why won’t you dance with them?”

“That’s not the case, I…”

“Don’t pull that card on me, babe.” Jared’s voice was gentle, but strong. “You refused to dance to even demonstrate the steps. What’s going on? You know that this dance would be a million times better with you in it.”

Jensen chewed on his lip for a second, his cheeks heating up as he realized that he had to face something he hadn’t wanted to in the six months since he’d been saved from marrying Justin.

Before he could break out into a cold sweat, Jared wrapped his arms around him, allowing Jensen to draw strength from the proximity. “Whatever is going on,” Jared whispered sweetly, “I’m here, Jen. I love you. Let me help you. Please.”

Jared had been amazing over the past six months. He’d waited for Jensen to settle himself back into his life, but stayed at his side through all the talks with his mom, Josh and Mack, through the trial that put Justin behind bars for 20 years. He patiently endured Chris and Danni’s protectiveness, and never got exasperated or annoyed or hurt at Jensen’s hesitation to trust. They’d been an official item for five out of those six months…and honestly, the man had more than deserved total and full disclosure by now. 

Forcing himself to relax, Jensen took measured breaths in and out, syncing his breathing to Jared’s. His hands crept up hesitantly, off their own accord, to latch on to the front of Jared’s shirt. It was an instinctive reaction that made Jensen blush, but the feeling of security and warmth and love it brought him was enough for him to overlook the negative feeling.

“Hartley…” he mumbled tentatively, absently moving in closer when the sound of his ex’s name made Jared tense. “He…let’s just say that I haven’t danced, not at all, since I left with him. Since the night of the party.”

“What did…” Jensen knew his boyfriend was fighting for calm. “Jen, baby, what did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything,” Jensen quickly shook his head, blushing. “Not really. He just…I don’t know, he always thought I was useless at everything, and he took a lot of pleasure out of demeaning my dancing too. After the first couple days I was so...defeated, I just sort of, stopped. Every time I tried to hear the rhythm, dance to it, either I heard his voice screaming insults at me…” Jensen swallowed hardly, feeling awful for the truth he was about to reveal, that would hurt his boyfriend, “or…or I heard your voice, telling me you liked the way I danced. Both were painful, and since then, I just…didn’t.”

“Oh, babe…” Jared whispered, regret, guilt and despair twisting his handsome face. “Jen…”

“Stop that, Jay,” Jensen rebuked gently. “I love you, and I don’t blame you. So don’t blame yourself every time I tell you something about that time.”

Jared nodded, pushing past his own pain. It was Jensen’s turn to lend some strength and he did so happily as Jared pressed his forehead against Jensen’s own.

“I’m afraid,” he confessed in a tortured utterance. 

“Afraid of what, babe?”

“Afraid that I’ll hear the music and I won’t be able to dance.” Jensen looked up into hazel eyes, biting his lip fearfully. “Afraid that I’ve forgotten. Afraid of Justin being right.”

Jared surged forward in an instant, pressing their lips together in a harsh, possessive, claiming kiss. Unbridled passion made the veins in Jensen’s body turn to fire and he responded with a small moan, for once submitting to Jared’s confident tongue exploring his mouth. 

Jensen felt the change when Jared’s emotions settled down. The kiss gentled gradually, bites becoming softer, tongue soothing over bruises rather than suckling new ones. Jared’s hands became less frantic, caressing now that the urge to mark and claim had been satisfied. 

Breaking away, but not so far that their lips didn’t brush together ever so often, Jared whispered, “Don’t you ever let him make you think that you are anything less than perfect, baby.” Jensen blushed at the nickname, that usually only slipped out when Jared was fucking him. “I’ve never, not once in my whole life, seen someone move the way you do. It drives me fucking crazy,” he chuckled lowly, “but I’m also in awe of it. It’s like…you go past the stage of dancing. When you start moving to that beat, it’s like you’re telling a whole story. You compel everyone around you to either stop and stare, or if they’re brave enough, join in with you. It’s magical, babe.” He pressed tender kisses to Jensen’s tear-stained cheeks, licking away the offending moisture. “I’ve actually really missed it these past six months. If I’d have known this was the reason you haven’t been dancing, I’d have pushed you ages ago.”

Jensen laughed thickly, wiping roughly at the remaining droplets on his face. He felt a seedling of strength embed itself deep in his soul, and with every kiss from Jared, every caress, every memory of the dancing he’d been doing and teaching since he was eleven years old…it all made that seed grow a little more, until finally, Jensen had something tangible to grab on to. He straightened his back, and looking into the hazel orbs that were so filled with love and adoration, he vowed that he was only going to hear Jared’s voice in his head, if he were to focus on anything but the music. 

He smiled weakly at his boyfriend, squeezing his shoulders before returning to his dancers. They all looked at him with similar expressions of trust and concern. For a second, that powerful emotion of pride overwhelmed him; pride that his dancers looked to him for guidance, pride that each of their faces mirrored the kind of respect you can only get from people who look up to you, consider you their leader. Internally, he made another vow; he was never going to let them down.

“Okay, guys, nothing changes,” he announced, pleased with the commanding authority his voice still held. “I’ll be dancing in Ant’s place, so everything goes along as planned.”

There was a collective sigh of relief, and Mikey Rosenbaum, Tom’s boyfriend, grinned brightly from where he stood, Tom’s arm around his shoulders. “All hail our fearless leader!” he cheered, making the rest of them giggle. 

Jensen rolled his eyes. The man was playful, a trait he’d obviously rubbed off onto Tom, but he was a good sport, and always knew when the tension needing breaking. 

In the name of convenience, Jensen had paired each male with a female, since it wouldn’t be as easy to toss a guy around as it would be to toss a girl. Bearing this in mind, he turned to quietly consult with his boyfriend.

“Do you mind that Scarlett’s gonna be my dancing partner?” he asked softly, prepared to resort to plan Q if it meant Jared would be comfortable. 

Jared grinned at him, a bright smile that always wiped the darkness from Jensen’s soul and replaced it with sunlight. “I love you for asking me that,” he kissed Jensen chastely. “I’m okay with it. At least it’ll be your hands on her, and not the other way around. I trust you. I don’t really trust her.”

Laughing, Jensen swatted his chest. “Y’know, Jay, she’s a pretty sweet girl. And I think she’s already realized she’s not my type, what with the PDAs you constantly shower on me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” he shook his head stubbornly. “I don’t like the way she looks at you.” Jensen took a moment to push down his laughter, making his voice deadpanned. 

“Alright…I’m going to get my dancers ready. You keep worrying about protecting my virtue.”

“I think we’re long past that stage.”

“Pervert.”

Jared’s laughter in his mind, Jensen followed his dancers on to the floor, making sure they were in place before taking his position.

The funky, up-beat sound of Bruno Mars’ _Marry You_ filtered through the speakers, and Jensen was instantly transported into the song, the beat, the rhythm, the moves.

_Like he could **ever** forget this._

A small part of him felt silly now, over his reservations, as he surrendered himself to the motions his body could twist into without even thinking about it. He found himself grinning broadly as he danced effortlessly through the song, nervous excitement building in him the closer he came to the solo. 

Feeling daring, he used a chair no one was sitting on to kick off, back-flipping into his solo and enjoying the gasps and enjoyment it stirred. As he danced, the beat of the song matching the beat of his heart, he kept his eyes open in the hopes of catching a glimpse of Jared, wanting to convey his enjoyment to his boyfriend.

Jared’s face had that same expression as before, confusing Jensen. Determination mingled with the look of awe and disbelief, but before Jensen could ponder it, he had to get back to Scar to dance the last chorus. 

The red-head grinned mischievously at him as he rejoined her, and he returned the smile almost bashfully. As cute as Jared’s worrying was, Jensen knew that Scarlett loved him like a best friend, and he also knew that her heart was too full of Bruce, a colleague of hers, to even look at anyone else.

The song ended and the room burst into raucous applause, whistles and cheers almost deafening, Sam’s loudest of all. 

Then two things happened at once.

The crowd suddenly went still as the graves…

…and Jared suddenly appeared in front of him.

On the ground.

On one knee.

Jensen’s breath caught in his throat, and he couldn’t physically react for a few seconds, his body shutting down save for the choppy breaths he was taking and the roaring in his ears.

“Jensen.”

With that one word, in Jared’s deep, loving tenor, Jensen’s panic subsided, the roaring in his ears going suddenly, almost disconcertingly mute. Warmth and disbelief burned a red hot trail in the general vicinity of his heart and emotions overwhelmed him.

“I’m an idiot for taking this long to realize this,” Jared huffed a small laugh, “but I can’t fathom living another moment without the promise that you’ll be mine every day for the rest of forever. I know that this is hardly the appropriate time and place,” he paused to send a sheepish, apologetic grin to Sam and JD, “but I could hardly stand to wait even one extra second. I don’t have a ring, or a fancy, elaborate demonstration. I don’t even have the words right now!” There was a smattering of chuckles at that, and Jensen smiled tremulously, heart thudding. “Babe…” Jared grinned suddenly, the love in his eyes tantamount to none that Jensen had seen in his entire life. “I think I wanna marry you.”

Jensen laughed at the use of the song words, the dam finally breaking as tears dropped down his cheeks. He nodded, too overwhelmed for words but not even needing to think about his answer. When he could finally speak around the lump in his throat, he took Jared’s hand, pulling him up into a hug. 

“I think I wanna marry you too, Jay.”

The applause was even louder than before, but this time, Jensen could hardly hear it.

“Happy ending?” Jared asked, a soft murmur against his ear. Jensen pressed himself closer as he shook his head.

“No. You and me? We’re never gonna end.”

 

_~Present~_

 

He shook his head fondly as he toyed with the key-ring. It was the only thing Jared had had on his person at the time, that resembled a ring, and silly as it may have sounded, he couldn’t bear to part with it. Knowing him the way only Jared really did, Jared had put it on black cord for him.

He hadn’t taken it off since, except to shower.

It was just like Jared’s personality to throw him constantly for a loop, so it stood to reason that his proposal would do the same. His friends all proclaimed to have seen it coming, and even though it was their wedding, they later heard from Sam that she and JD had bet on whether Jared would manage to contain himself until after the wedding. 

_That boy just needed the right scene to realize that he wanted to make you his officially, JR,_ she had told him. _JD thought he would have some patience, but the way he was always looking at you? I knew that once he figured it out, he wouldn’t have a second’s rest until he had a ring on your finger._

No matter what everyone else said, Jensen still could hardly believe sometimes, that this was his life. For so long, he had been convinced that happiness, real happiness, or at least a sliver of it, was nothing more than a pipe-dream to him. It was so painfully out of reach for so damn long, that he had forgotten it even existed. But every glance into Jared’s eyes, into his heart, into his soul, and Jensen knew that his thunder had finally given way to sun. 

Smiling at the metaphor, his mind flashed back to their wedding day, and the gifts they had gotten each other to commemorate the occasion, each of them memorable in their own right…

 

_~One year ago~_

 

“Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, I bring your attention to Mr. and Mr. Padalecki-Ackles.”

As soon as the words left Chris’ mouth, there was thunderous applause, catcalls and whistles from their friends, cheers and a few proud sniffles from loved ones. 

Jensen blushed under the attention, and Jared, ever the yin to his yang, began waving enthusiastically at people he knew, shouting out to some of them until Jensen burst out laughing at the reaction.

“I married a puppy,” he joked, making everyone laugh, except Chad, who leaned across the main table and winked at him.

“Kinky fucker.”

Jensen fell about laughing, even more so when Jared cuffed his friend upside the head. Every atom in his being glowed with happiness, and he couldn’t remember when last he’d floated on could nine like this. Jared had done what he had once thought was impossible.

Jared fixed him.

There were scars that decorated his body and soul alike, but now they served as a reminder of strength and they didn’t weigh on his mind the way they used to. There were difficult days, when Jensen would flash back to a particularly rough beating, or hear a harsh insult echo in his mind, but Jared was always there with a soothing caress. A loving word. A warm embrace.

Which was why he had spent the last three weeks, instead of preparing for the big day, working on Jared’s wedding present. He nodded once at Danni, a sign for her to fetch the gift from where he’d stashed it. Their guests were dining now, so Jensen figured the time couldn’t be better. 

“Jay?”

His husband turned to grin almost goofily at him, immediately leaning in for a kiss, which Jensen stopped with a gentle hand to his chest. Jared’s eyes narrowed in alarm, which was natural since Jensen as a rule of thumb, generally didn’t reject a kiss. Before he could panic, Jensen smiled reassuringly.

“Nothing’s wrong, love,” he shook his head, taking Jared’s hand. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Anything, babe,” Jared smiled sweetly, leaning in attentively. 

Blushing, Jensen forced himself to raise his eyes to meet his husband’s. “Do you remember that time when you were admiring my Northern Star piece?” Jared nodded the affirmative, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. “Jay…” Jensen laughed slightly at his irrational nervousness. “I never told you this, but Jay, you’re that Northern Guiding Star I was talking about. When I painted that piece, I drew the Northern Star as so little, because hope was a foreign concept to me at the time. Then I met you, and I fell head over heels in love with you…and I realized that the piece needed redesigning.”

Danni returned, placing the large frame in his hands, turned away from Jared who was staring wide-eyed at him. 

“Since I didn’t want the past to tarnish the future we’re gonna have, I painted you a slightly different piece,” he told the shocked man, biting his lip as he flushed. 

He presented the painting to Jared, watching as hazel orbs drank in the newly-lit sky, bright with stars, only the murky left-hand corner an indication of the hard times that had come before. A bright silver moon with yellow and grey accents lit the ground below, which was now in full bloom with loud, colorful flowers decorating it, and to the left of the moon, shining brighter than everything else, was the Northern Star.

Jared.

The headlights aspect of the painting remained, but instead of his initials intricately drawn in the yellow circle, it was replaced with Jared’s initials: JTP-A.

Tears filled Jared’s eyes as he took it all in, and this time, neither of them made a move to brush the moisture away. 

“Jen…this is amazing, babe,” Jared choked out, catching his lips in a quick, hungry kiss. “God, this…I just…”

“There’s one more part to your wedding present,” Jensen announced softly. “Here.” He handed Jared the envelope that was burning a hole in his pocket the entire week, his angst over whether he was doing the right thing r being pushy, coming back in full force. Shooting him a curious look, Jared tore the paper barrier open, eyes quickly scanning the page in front of him.

“Jensen…” Jared looked up at him, eyes wide with an array of emotions. “This is…is a letter of…it’s a letter of resignation. My resignation.”

Jensen nodded, feeling his resolve return as he heard Jared in his head, talking about his dream of being published. “Jay, you once told me that you dreamt of someday seeing your name on the front cover of a published book. You can’t do that from behind a desk, love. I am married to you. I promised you in front of all these people that I would love you until eternity looped over. I will stand by you and support you through wherever this takes us. But I’m not going to let you spend another minute doing something you hate out of a want to take care of us. I’ve been pretty smart with my own money over the years, and I’m earning too, so we’re going to make this work. You, Jared Tristan Padalecki-Ackles, are going to become a published author.”

“Babe,” Jared shook his head, even as cautious hope flooded his eyes, “I can’t expect…”

“You’re not, love,” Jensen interrupted him easily. “I’m insisting.”

The taller man still seemed unsure, so Jensen pulled out his final weapon. “You made my dreams come true by loving me, Jay. Let me help make your dreams come true too. Please.”

Smiling at him with that look in his eyes that Jensen never managed to name, Jared whispered, “You already have.”

“Ladies and gents,” Chris’ voice came over the speakers once more, but in that moment, Jensen knew his husband would agree to try publishing out. “I need to hand over to Jared’s best man, but before I can do that, I’m going to say my own piece about Jensen first. I’m going to make this a quick one, because frankly, two grown men bawling is not a pretty sight.”

A ripple of laughter sounded amongst the guests and Jensen fixed his attention on his best friend, grinning as his anticipation rose. He wondered what crazy story Kane was going to tell this time, and hoped his friend would use his discretion.

“I met Jensen when I was three years old.” Jensen’s smile faded and his heart clenched, struck by momentary shock at the sentimental turn Chris was choosing, which Jensen hadn’t thought his best friend would do. “My mamma dropped me off, and naturally, I was sobbing like someone had stolen my dog and my wax crayons all on the same day.” Chris smiled at him, and Jensen felt warmth in his heart at the familiar memory. “I’m gonna translate the baby language here, but there came this little boy with mossy green eyes that seemed to take up most his face, and he puts his arms around me and says, don’t cry. I’ll be your friend. I’ll be your bestest ever friend! Don’t cry.”

Chris sniffled a little, and the sound made Jensen’s own eyes water. The utter sincerity in his friend’s voice was almost overwhelming.

“And ever since that day,” Chris continued, his voice thick, “that little boy and me? We were brothers. And to be standing here, speaking at my brother’s wedding…this is something I feel so honored to be doing.” He turned to Jensen, a serious expression on his normally mischievous face. “JR? I just want to thank you, man. Thank you for always being my bestest ever friend, since the day I was bawling in daycare right up to these moments right here. You’re my brother, and I love you, man.” Hi gaze shifted to Jared, hardening a little as he wiped away the last remnants of his tears. “And Jared…you’re an awesome guy and a good friend too, and probably the only person in the world I think comes remotely close to deserving my brother, but you better treat my boy right, you hear me?” He chuckled thickly. “I’ll kick your ass if you don’t, Sasquatch or not.” 

Jared snickered next to him, holding a thumbs-up in affirmation of Chris’ statement. Jensen could hardly react, since all his energy was taken up by fighting back tears and the warmth in his heart at the knowledge that despite everything, Chris had, would still, and always would, take on the world for him. 

Wiping the back of his hand across his face, Chris raised his glass. “Before I really get started,” he grinned ruefully, “here’s to the best man I’ve known and ever had the pleasure of calling a brother, and to his new husband, who is the only person in the world I’d trust with him.”

A chorus of cheers and clinking glasses filled the air, and Jensen got up to hug his best friend tightly, trying to reign in his emotion. Judging from the way Chris held on for a moment, he was trying to do the same.

“Hey everybody,” Chad’s voice brought them back to the present, and Jensen smiled brilliantly at Chris in thanks, before taking his seat again. Jared’s arm wound around him, making him sigh in contentment. “For those of you who are just pretending not to know me, I’m Chad, Jared’s best man and the obviously hotter one between us.” 

“You wish,” Jared called out good-naturedly as the guests laughed. “I’m the one who landed a guy like Jensen so obviously I’m hotter.” Jared winked at him, and the crowds cooing just made him blush even harder.

“On that note,” Chad continued heedlessly, “I hope you heal pretty quickly from that temporary blindness you got going on there, Jense.” Chad grinned mischievously. “Okay, if it were any other guy, I’d probably give the same spiel as Christian before me did, but over the past few months, seeing Jensen with my best friend, I realized that no one has ever loved him as much.” The normally loud and playful man was replaced suddenly by a serious, more sincere version of himself. “Similarly, Jensen, I don’t think you’ll ever know anyone who loves you as much as Jay-rod over there does. So I’m not so worried, huh? You guys would sooner jump off a cliff than to hurt each other irreparably, and that, ladies and gents, is a beautiful and rare thing to find. I’m so happy for you both, for finding that in each other and I can only hope that your stories continues to grow as one, and that it is as much of a best-seller as you two are.” 

Jensen was touched to find that Jared had let a few tears slip, clearly as affected by his friend’s words as Jensen had been by Chris’. 

“Since Kane has already done the toast,” Chad tipped his glass at Chris in recognition, “I’m going to go straight to the next item on my to-do list. Before the wedding, Jared came up to me, and he was like, _'bro, I need you to do me a solid.'_ ” Chad smirked, and Jensen wondered where the blond was heading with this, and what favor Jared had asked of him that Jensen knew nothing about. “Being the awesome, handsome, sexy, incredible friend that I am,” Chad paused as the giggles filled the air, “naturally, I agreed. So he tells me _'dude, I need you to help me set up Jen’s wedding present.'_ ”

Jensen turned to face his husband, and Jared smiled mysteriously at him before getting up and straightening the jacket of his tux. 

“Now my first thought,” Jensen turned his attention back to Chad, “was that my friend was one kinky freak.” Jared barked a laugh, moving towards the stage. “But then I agreed. He told me that my job, in the very important and delicate mission, was to stall and keep Jensen’s attention on me until he could call in some very important guests.” Chad grinned at him, and Jensen returned the smile in his confusion. “So I obviously succeeded. Jared, over to you, bro.”

He tossed the mike and Jared caught it easily in one hand. While his attention had been on Chad, his little ones from his dance class had come in through the door, all dressed up in their dancing gear, followed by Jared’s old class, minus Sandy. They took their places on the floor while Jensen watched on, speechless.

“Jen,” Jared called, turning his attention back to him. “Babe, first off, I love you.”

“I love you too,” he responded immediately, the reply second-nature to his feelings now. 

“They love you too,” he gestured at the dancers, “and they wanted to do this for you. So I thought, why not make them a part of my wedding present?” Jared blushed, a rare occurrence and enough to pique Jensen’s curiosity even further. “Babe, I’m not much of a singer, but then I heard this song,” slow, soft notes suddenly permeated the air, “and I realized that it described us almost perfectly.”

The beautifully soft, sincere melody became louder and Jensen was instantly lost in it. 

The Jared began to softly sing,

_“I’ll never settle down…_  
_That’s what I always thought._  
_I was that kinda man._  
_Just ask anyone._

_I don’t dance, but here I am,_  
_Spinning you ‘round and ‘round in circles._  
_It aint my style, but I don’t care._  
_I’d do anything with you anywhere._

_Yeah, you’ve got me in the palm of your hand…_

_Cause I don’t dance.”_

Jensen laughed through his tears at the words that Jared had so often spoken to him. As the melody became a little faster, Jared walked to him, holding his hand out in clear invitation. Disbelief made him laugh breathlessly, and he reached for the proffered hand in more ways than the physical, coming as easy to him as breathing. 

Jared spun him on to the floor and began dancing, the same move he’d taught him all that time ago. Never before in all the years he’d danced, had he ever felt as at home as he did now.

_“Love’s never come my way_  
_I’ve never been this far,_  
_But you took these two left feet,_  
_And waltzed away with my heart._

_No, I don’t dance, but here I am,_  
_Spinning you ‘round and ‘round in circles._  
_It aint my style, but I don’t care._  
_I’d do anything with you anywhere._

_Yeah, you’ve got me in the palm of your hand…_

_Cause I don’t dance.”_

Jensen laughed again as Jared turned him around. He felt as though he were in a dream…but then he realized it was even better than that, because it was real, and he could feel Jared’s heat beating against his hand.

This was all his. After all these years…this piece of heaven was finally his. And he would hold on to it forever and a day.

_“I don’t dance, but here I am,_  
_Spinning you ‘round and ‘round in circles._  
_It aint my style, but I don’t care._  
_I’d do anything with you anywhere._

_Yeah, you’ve got me in the palm of your hand, babe…_

_Cause I don’t dance.”_

The music slowed, unbearably sweet and quiet, and looking into his husband’s eyes, he knew.

Every rocky ridge in his broken road, had led him straight to the arms of the most amazing man in the world. 

It was definitely worth falling a few times.

And it always would be.

 

_~Present~_

 

His blood hummed as he felt a new rush of love for Jared. Every time he thought he couldn’t possibly love the man more, his heart proved him wrong. Pulling Jared’s hoodie tighter around him, he inhaled the familiar scent of his lover, husband and soul-mate, smiling against the warm material.

“That hoodie of his is a bit too big for you there, Jenny.”

Jensen turned with a gasp, paling as all the blood in his face rushed to his feet. Ice cold terror froze his veins as he stumbled backwards.

_“Justin.”_

###

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One last drama for the road! ;-)
> 
> Leave me some love and let me know what y'all thought!
> 
> Much love! <3


	5. It's All Over Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this for j2_is_life, and I just think it's fitting to end it with a shout out to her!
> 
> Thank you for everything, hon, and I hope you're okay! I miss you! Hope you like the ending!
> 
> Thanks to everyone who read this, commented and left kudos; your support meant a lot to me, and though it saddens me to have finished this, I so enjoyed the ride with y'all!
> 
> Enjoy!

~*Jensen*~

 

His bag slipped through his suddenly numb fingers, the thudding against the hardwood floors echoing in the otherwise silent building. Justin smiled coldly at him, a predator’s smile, and Jensen straightened, determined not to cower anymore. The movement didn’t escape his tormentor’s attention.

“Brave now, I see, Jenny,” Hartley sneered, taking a deliberate step forward. “Is your boy-toy rubbing off on you emotionally and physically, then?”

Jensen rolled his eyes, focusing on his disgust over his knee-jerk fear. “Spare me the lame attempts at joking, Hartley,” he returned curtly, incredibly proud that his voice didn’t break or show his inner fear. “Shouldn’t you be in your cozy little two-man jail cell, being someone else’s bitch?”

Something akin to surprise flashed through the blond haired man’s eyes before fury took over. Even though the rage simmered as clear as day, Justin forced a had smile on to his face, and Jensen realized just how much it got to him, that he had no control over how the dancer acted and reacted. In taking back his life- his dignity, his strength, his will, his resilience- he had also taken away Justin’s ability to manipulate him.

“Kitty likes to scratch,” Hartley commented, but after the years of practice, Jensen could hear the strain in his voice. He couldn’t help the small smile that crept on to his face; after years of abuse at the hands of the man in front of him, he was finally the one in control. He was finally fighting back. This, more than anything else, gave him back everything he had lost in those years.

In that single, God awful month.

“Tell me…” For all his normal self-restraint, Jensen couldn’t resist taking his chance to goad Justin. “How did you rest these past two years, knowing that there was someone willing to take on you, my father, the world for me? How did you rest, knowing that he has the power over me that you will never have? How did you rest, knowing that he holds that mantle of power better than you could have ever dreamed of doing?”

“Shut up!” Justin snapped, and Jensen felt a stab of satisfaction at the fact that he wasn’t backing down anymore. “You ungrateful little bastard!”

“Why are you here, Justin?” he asked almost pityingly, his vindictive gratification short-lived. He couldn’t bring himself to find any sort of validation or pleasure from making someone else feel bad, even if that someone else was the man who tortured him for so many years of his life. “What are you even hoping to achieve from all this? Did you think I’d meekly follow you back into a life of abuse?”

“You deserved everything you ever got,” he hissed. “I was trying to make you better! Trying to salvage something from the useless waste of space you were! Your own father agreed that you weren’t worth much, and that you needed to be fixed.” Justin fixed him with a scornful look. “Your own father couldn’t love you. You were always such a disappointment, in every God damned way!”

And then, Jensen did something he never thought he would have ever done, in the face of an insult filled with that much malice.

_He laughed._

Judging from the way Justin’s eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline, he wasn’t expecting that reaction, and to be perfectly honest, Jensen wasn’t sure he expected it either.

“Did you think that I would have been floored by that?” he asked quietly, a note of mirth still in his voice. “The way I used to be? Did you think that it was going to torment me like all of the times before? Make me feel like I _should_ be punished?”

Hartley was quiet, not to Jensen’s surprise; he didn’t need the answer to that. He had it already.

“It’s funny,” he continued, “what effect one person can have on someone’s life. Jared, my _husband_ ,” he stressed the word, “has loved me every day in a way that I only ever dreamt a person could be loved. There was a time when the words out of your mouth had the power to weaken me. That time is gone, Justin.” Steel injected in his tone and his eyes, Jensen continued relentlessly, “You have no control over me anymore, and neither does that asshole I used to call my father. You can say whatever you want about me, but damn it, Justin, I tried. I tried to make us work, and it wasn’t my fault that you became the person I see in front of me today.” He shook his head ruefully. “It took me a long time to realize that, and an even longer time to accept it, but Jared waited for me. He’s the love of my existence and I guess,” he huffed a hard laugh, “I guess I have to thank you! Without you, we would have never found each other. And I would have spent my life with an abusive son of a bitch who will never measure up to half the man my husband is.”

Justin snarled unintelligibly, charging forward suddenly. His reflexes as sharp as ever, Jensen simply dodged out of the way, watching almost in compassion as Justin pitched right into the bench. His empathy struck him still for a moment, and his heart went out to the man he used to know. The Justin Hartley that existed before all this. 

Recovering quickly, his ex-boyfriend jumped up, a nasty smile on his face. Something malignant danced in his otherwise deadened eyes, and cold fear settled at the base of Jensen’s spine. His sympathy quickly changed to wariness, and he suddenly knew with stark certainty that Justin had come here to take him away…or to make sure that he didn’t leave at all.

“I hate to break it to you, Jenny,” Justin’s voice dropped to a low pitch and he laughed maniacally. “But if I can’t have you…no one will.”

Jensen huffed inwardly. Sometimes he hated when he was right.

In the next second, the world around him imploded.

 

~*Jared*~

 

“…everything is perfect!” Jared exclaimed, having just related to Chad all the reasons why his life rocked at the moment. “Nothing can go wrong!”

Chad glanced at him, the aghast expression on his friend’s face giving him pause. “Famous last words, dude!” he half-yelled, punching Jared’s shoulder. “Why the hell would you even say that?”

“Ow.” Jared rubbed his shoulder, frowning irritably at the blond-haired man. “Stop being such a superstitious bat,” he complained, grabbing his keys and his jacket. “I’m going to go visit Jen, he’s probably leaving the studio about now. I’ll see you tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” Chad waved his hand dismissively. “Dude,” he sighed, looking almost disgruntled. “You have the best spouse ever. I wish Sophia would celebrate my achievements by throwing me a massive shin-dig.”

“Maybe she doesn’t because you haven’t achieved much as yet,” Jared quipped, before adding sardonically, “and because you still use the word _‘shin-dig’_.”

“Sticks and stones wound me not as much as your words do, Jay-Rod,” Chad clutched his heart dramatically. “Why must you continue to hurt me so?”

Grinning, Jared decided that flipping his friend off would have to be the most practical response.

###

He should have heeded his friend’s warning.

He had no sooner pulled out of his parking space before his cell rang shrilly.

“This is Jared,” he chirped cheerfully, by way of greeting. 

“Mr. Padalecki-Ackles?” A grim sounding voice on the other hand made Jared’s blood drain from his face, even if he didn’t yet know why. He instinctively clutched the phone tighter, stepping harder on the gas and fighting past the panic that suddenly clenched his heart in a vice grip. 

“Yes?”

“This is Barney Sylas, I own the coffee shop across the road from where your husband, Jensen, works. Jensen became a friend recently and…well, there was an explosion of some kind a few minutes ago, a…a bomb, I think.” Barney pushed the words out in an unending stream, not taking a breath, and Jared’s head started spinning as he fought against the horrendous truth. “His car is still out front so I’m worried that he may be inside. I’ve called the fire department and they…oh, hold on, they’ve just arrived…but I thought you needed to know.”

Jared could hardly breathe and his mind became foggy, both with air deprivation and panic. He barely mumbled out his gratitude before tossing his phone on the seat and burning rubber.

The worst possibility scenarios swamped his mind and Jared couldn’t help a few hysterical tears escaping his tenacious grip on calm. Through some ironic twist of Fate, all the traffic lights worked in his favor and the roads were relatively clear. 

What had happened? How…who could have possibly wanted to hurt his beautiful dancer? Hartley was in jail, as was Jensen’s father, and everybody else…everyone loved Jen. How could this…

Forcing his thoughts down, Jared concentrated on getting there in one piece. He refused to believe that the explosion had…had…

Jensen was _alive._ He had to be.

_I’d know…if he was…I would know,_ Jared defended internally, bone-deep certainty ringing in him. _I’d know. I’d feel it. He’s not…not dead._

He repeated this mantra to himself, knowing that it was the only thing keeping him calm. 

But no amount of chanting could have prepared him for the moment the studio came into view.

He’d been studiously ignoring the clouds of grey smoke as he drove, intent only his husband, but now as the demolished building came into view, he half hoped he would have prepared himself. 

There was no other words for it other than utter devastation. Fire blazed still, flames licking up the once-beautiful building, scarring it forever…and taking with it, Jared’s Jensen.

He could barely remember stopping the car and stumbling out, but before he knew it, someone’s hands were around his middle and they were dragging him away from the blazing building. 

“No!” he struggled against the hands, and quickly, another pair or two joined them. “Let me go! My…my husband, he…”

“Sir!” one of the firefighters barked in his ear. “We can’t let you go in there. The fire is too strong…we’ve got men in there trying to find any survivors but we can’t do our job if you’re keeping us here!”

The fight abruptly left him, and Jared sank to his knees, tears flowing unaccountably fast. “Please…” he pleaded thickly. “Please get him out.”

Desperation clawed at him as seconds ticked by like hours. His eyes wide, he scanned the entrance of the building, his anguish mounting the longer no one appeared. He was vaguely aware of the fireman that had stayed with him- apparently, they trusted him not to go in about as much as he trusted himself just then- and he listened out for the walkie talkie the man was holding with the same attentiveness as he was watching the stairs to the studio.

The moment it crackled to life, Jared’s head whipped up to look at the fireman. Green eyes that could never be as beautiful as his Jensen’s, met his own desperate, hazel orbs, and Jared could see the sympathy in them. 

“This is Neil,” the man spoke into the device, “what do you have, M? Over.”

“We’re coming out, need a hand here, Neil,” M reported, and hope budded in Jared’s chest, only to be devastatingly extinguished. “We’ve got a body. Over.”

A breathy, punched out gasp left his lips, and he shook his head vehemently. “Not him, it’s not him,” he mumbled, to who, he wasn’t sure. “It’s not Jen, I would _know_ , I would have felt it, it’s not him.” He looked up beseechingly at the fireman. “I would have _felt_ it,” he stated plaintively, as though he were looking for confirmation.

The sadness in the man’s eyes said it all.

Jared got up on shaky legs as Neil ran to where the firemen were coming out. Together, they carried the charred corpse out of the building, and almost like his feet were moving off their own accord, Jared stumbled over to them, needing to see for himself, prove to himself, that the body wasn’t his Jensen.

The body was burnt beyond recognition…but he did see on it, a tuft of dirty blonde hair, and wrapped around his mouth and throat, what was undoubtedly his old hoodie. 

His knees hit the concrete with an unforgiving crack, but the pain couldn’t even begin to touch the agony in his chest, where he was sure his heart was being torn into shreds. He heard vaguely, some awful gasping sounds, and it took him a minute to realize that the terrible noises were being torn from his own mouth. That he was clutching his chest while the noises kept coming, relentless and unstoppable even if he tried. That he was the one that sounded like he was dying, couldn’t take a breath, couldn’t live, couldn’t... 

Someone was thumping his back and he heard another voice scream for an oxygen tank over the sound of the blazing fire. 

“Jensen,” he mouthed in anguish, his torment tearing at him with an almost physical manifestation. “Baby…” He covered his head with his arms, blocking out the rest of the world, crumpled in on himself with the force of his suffering. 

_Just kill me now,_ the thought rose unbidden in his mind. _Take me too. I don’t want to be here without him._

“Jay.”

Abruptly, he stopped, the sounds ceasing, and his frantic motions suspended for a single moment. He was afraid to pick up his head, scared to death that the voice was just a product of his grief-stricken mind that was desperate to hear the sound of his beloved husband’s voice again.

“Jared, love…”

He sucked in a breath. Was he…he was dead? Dead, with Jensen?

But then…

Arms wrapped with utmost tenderness around him, arms that he would have been able to recognize anywhere, anytime. His brain sluggishly caught up with him and as soon as he realized that everything around him was too overwhelmingly real for him to be dead, he mustered up all his strength to dare to lift his head.

A broad, firm torso gave way to a slender neck that flowed seamlessly into a glass-cut jaw, freckled cheeks, long lashes and the brightest green eyes he’d ever seen. Even covered in soot, it was the most beautiful he had ever seen his beloved dancer look.

He grabbed Jensen, pulling him down into his lap, crushing him against his chest with a force that only seemed to be matched by his lover. 

“Jensen, Jensen, _Jen_ , oh God, baby…” The words tumbled out of his mouth in a single breath, and like a broken recorder, he couldn’t stop. After a while, the words all melded into one long, unintelligible murmur, but not once did either of them loosen their grip on the other. 

He stroked Jensen’s ash-roughened hair and pulled him flush against his body, touching obsessively. His dancer seemed to return the sentiment, one hand tangling in his long locks and the other clutching his shirt in a vice-tight grip. 

After a few minutes, Jared felt a different hand on his shoulder, and he pulled Jensen in impossibly closer as if someone were trying to take his husband away from him. 

“Easy, Sir,” Jared recognized the soothing voice as Neil’s, and he relaxed fractionally. “I’m sorry to break this up, I’m so sorry…the police are here, and they need a statement, Sir.”

Taking a deep breath, Jared looked up from where he’d buried his face in the crook of Jensen’s neck. 

“This can’t wait?” he asked roughly, working to keep from snapping at the helpful fireman. “My husband…I…I thought…and we…”

“Shh, love,” Jensen comforted him softly, hands- _those blessed, wonderful hands_ \- coming to caress lovingly at his face. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I’ll explain everything now, so that you know what…” his lover’s sentence broke off mid-way, interrupted by a vicious coughing fit. Jared held him close once more, rubbing at his back as the hacking cough eased. “What happened,” he finished, his voice raspy. “Let’s get it done with.”

Too relieved to even argue against his husband’s stubbornness, Jared simply got to his feet and stooped down to sweep Jensen up in his arms. Though he could see no burns, miraculously enough, it was obvious that his dancer was far from unscathed. The fact became more obvious at Jensen’s quick acquiescence to his carrying, even though there were token protests. Jared bundled him up lovingly against his chest, relishing in the feel of Jen’s moving chest against his own.

“Mr. and Mr. Padalecki-Ackles,” a man in uniform smiled at them gently, throwing a blanket over Jensen’s shoulders when Jared set him down in the police cruiser. Jared fussed, tightening the blanket around him as he knelt at Jensen’s feet. “My name is Officer Jim Beaver. I’m sorry to be doing this to you folks now, but I promise I’ll be as quick as possible. We just need to get the story about what happened here while it’s fresh in your mind, okay?”

Jensen nodded, and Jared felt a rush of love and pride at his husband’s bravery. “I can…can do that.”

“Okay, Sir, just go ahead and tell me everything that happened.”

Jensen took a deep breath. “Call me Jensen,” he invited absently, and Jared knew he was toying with his thoughts, arranging them in his mind. “And this is my husband, Jared.” He reached out a hand unthinkingly and Jared caught it in his own, bringing it to his lips.

“Jim,” the officer smiled amicably. “Just tell me whatever you can remember,” he added, “don’t worry about how it’s going to come out. And just tell me or your husband the minute you need to take a break.”

Nodding shakily, Jared could see that his lover was fighting past his fear, and he leaned up to nuzzle at the dancer’s cheek. “I’m right here,” he whispered. “Right here, babe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I’ve got you, I promise.”

And it seemed that was really all Jensen needed, because with one more deep breath, he started his story. “I used to be in an abusive relationship. My ex, Justin Hartley… I don’t know how, but he was here.” Jared sucked in a breath, feeling as though someone had punched him in the sternum. “He was here, and he rigged that explosive.”

What was even more unexpected, was the cringe that came from Officer Beaver. “We were actually on our way here to tell you,” Jim revealed, his face paling. “We just got word about a half hour ago that Mr. Hartley had escaped, aided by a Ms. Sandra McCoy, who was shot on-site and died instantly. They tried to contain the situation, and phoned us when it became evident that they hadn’t. We were on our way to warn you when we got the call. I was afraid it was that bastard.”

Rage boiled, white hot and instant inside Jared. “Half an hour ago?” he fumed. “It took them that long to figure out that they were endangering my husband’s life because they couldn’t do their jobs and catch a fucking prisoner? He managed to get here from Dallas! Imagine what he could have done while they were sitting with their thumbs up their asses!”

Jen’s hand landed on the space between his shoulder blades, thumb reaching up to rub at the top of his spine. “Easy, love,” he whispered. “Please.”

The writer immediately fell quiet, realizing what his lover couldn’t say- that his calm, was the only thing allowing Jensen to maintain his stringent hold on tranquility.

“He came in with his usual spiel,” Jensen continued. “Tried to floor me with the same old insults, the same air of malice. He got mad when I told him it wasn’t working.” A brief smile flickered and green eyes locked on to his. “He couldn’t stand the fact that Jared had given me the strength to beat him, to take back control.” Pride and warmth filled Jared's heart, some of the intense emotion spilling out as tears from his eyes. “When I told him that it was over, that he could never have that kind of hold on me again…he snapped. Said that if he couldn’t have me, no one would.” A shudder racked his frame, and Jensen pulled the blanket tighter around him, leaning into Jared. “I guess he came in thinking he’d try to get me back…but he had a plan B if that didn’t work out.”

Jim nodded sympathetically. “Well,” he shook his head, voice fervent, “I’m happy that Plan B didn’t work.”

Jensen winced. “I tried,” he whispered. “I tried to help him…save him.” He turned pleading eyes to Jared, and the anguish there broke the writer’s heart. “I’m sorry, love,” Jensen entreated. “But I couldn’t do nothing.”

“I love you so much,” Jared interrupted him fiercely, “for exactly that reason.” He pressed his forehead against Jensen’s their tears mingling. “I love you, Jensen Ackles,” he repeated, “because you are the best, purest man I know.”

Jensen clung to him for a few minutes, crying, and Jim respectfully half-turned away, giving them the illusion of privacy and sticking true to his word about giving Jen a break when he needed it. After several minutes, his lover picked up his tale anew.

“He didn’t take into account the effect the explosion would have on the structure of the building,” the dancer shook his head. “A beam from the ceiling fell on top of his leg, and even though he could take it kick it off with the other leg, he had broken his bone and couldn’t walk. I took off my hoodie...Jared’s hoodie,” he amended, “and tied it around his face so he could breathe a little easier, then I did the same thing with my shirt. I tried to drag him out, but he had something else in mind.” Another shiver traveled down Jensen’s body, and Jared tightened his hold on his husband. “He tried to keep me there, so that we could die together. He…he said we were destined for each other, and that nothing could keep him from owning me.” Jensen sniffled and Jared wiped away the tears tenderly, fighting against the growl in his chest. “I punched him, knocked him out, and the force made the floor underneath me give way. I fell, but it thankfully wasn’t too far, and it was away from the blaze. That’s why the smoke got to me, but the flames didn’t.”

Jim shook his head, compassion rolling off him in waves. “You’re an incredibly brave man, Jensen,” he said somberly. “I would have left the bastard to die.” The officer turned to Jared, respect in his eyes. “You should be very proud of your husband, Jared. He’s an amazing young man.”

Nodding reverently, Jared pressed kisses all over Jensen’s neck, heedless of the soot. “That he is, Jim. He’s a hero.”

Jim, true to his word, was quick and efficient in taking and recording Jensen’s statement, and by the time they were done there, most of Jensen’s coughing had subsided. Not once did they let go of each other, and now they sat in Jared’s car, relishing in simply being.

“I nearly lost you today, babe,” Jared uttered, his voice thick from the tears that just barely abated. The cold feeling still hadn’t left his spine and he fought for the courage to let go of his husband.

It was difficult when it felt like letting him go would risk losing him.

“I’m alright, love,” Jensen’s voice was pretty much back to its honeysuckle drawl, which went a long ways towards convincing him that everything was going to be okay. “We’re going to be okay. It’s…” Jensen sighed gustily. “It’s all over now.”

###

“I can’t believe we’re still doing this.”

Jensen grinned impishly at him, and Jared was loathe not to return the smile. His husband was adamant that they continue with tonight’s party, despite the events of the afternoon. As they spooned in their bed, sweat-glistening bodies pressed against each other’s until not a paper could fit between, Jared tried to convince his dancer to spend the rest of the day exactly as they were just then.

Two rounds of hot, life-affirming sex was so not enough.

“We can continue this after the party,” Jensen insisted, even as he snuggled closer. “It’s your first published book, Jay!” his green eyes sparkled with the same excitement it did when they received the first printed copy of his debut novel. “It’s something to celebrate, and I want everyone to know how fucking proud I am of you.”

“It means nothing, Jen,” Jared murmured, nibbling the tip of his lover’s ear absently. “Means nothing next to you. Would have meant less than nothing if I had lost you today.”

Jensen turned in his arms, framing Jared’s face in his hands. “Don’t say that, love,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jared’s mouth. “Don’t think on it, not tonight. Tonight is yours. It’s yours, and mine, and ours. He has no place here.” Jensen shook his head almost ruefully. “I don’t want to give him tonight, either, and we’ll be doing just that if we bail on it now. I told Justin that he would never have the control over me that he used to have anymore…and he never will, even if he was alive. I can go on with our life now, because I have you.” Smiling contentedly, he added, “Our lives together is all that matters to me, now. And even today, it prevailed. If nothing else, we’ll celebrate that.”

Jared caught his lover’s lips in an unforgivingly possessive, hungry kiss, plundering his mouth and claiming him in the most primal way. With a wanton moan, Jensen pressed against him, brushing their cocks teasingly against each other’s until Jared broke the kiss off with a growl. 

“We’ll go ahead with tonight,” he nodded his support, “but I’m not letting you out of this bed for another hour, and hardly at all tomorrow, babe.”

Jensen winked at him, his smirk filled with dirty promises. “I’m all yours, Jay. Forever.”

###

“Ladies and gentlemen, the man of the evening,” Jensen announced, beaming at him. “ _I Don’t Dance_ , Jared's debut novel, is already making waves, and wherever it goes from here on out, I’m glad y’all are here to celebrate with us!”

Jared smiled at his husband, barely aware of the crowd’s response. He had meant what he had said earlier; none of this would have meant a damn thing without Jensen. A wave of love and gratitude so strong it almost knocked him off his feet, came upon him. 

“Speech!” Chad yelled out childishly, breaking into his train of thought. Jared glared at his friend without any real heat.

What he didn’t expect was Jensen being on Chad’s side.

“Come on, Jay,” Jensen urged him, green eyes alight with excitement and pride and love. “This is your first published book of so many more. Say a few words!”

Jared blushed as catcalls and whistles sounded in the room. Looking into his husband’s sparkling eyes, he was struck with inspiration. Grabbing the book from the table where it sat, he opened it, and begun to read. 

“ _This book,_ ” he grinned over the top at Jensen as the room fell quiet, “ _is dedicated to my amazing, perfect husband. You brighten my life like the force of 1000 suns, my love._ ” Jared paused as their guests aww’d, catching Jensen’s misty eyes and sharing a private moment before he continued. “I don’t really do well with speaking words, as much as I love writing them,” he admitted sheepishly, “so instead of a speech, I’m gonna go ahead and read the first few lines from here.” He tapped the hardcover with a secret smile. 

“ _I don’t dance,_ ” he read from the prologue. “ _I thought that was something I knew with absolute certainty. But then, I also thought that I would never leave my longtime girlfriend, or storm a wedding procedure, or gift the love of my life with a song-and-dance item like I was a character in **Rent** , and as it so happened, I’ve done all of the above._

_But I digress._

_This is a story about Fate, and how She sometimes lets us meet our soul-mates in the weirdest of ways. It is a story about a dancer, resilient, fierce, loyal, and brave, with a heart not even gold was worth comparing to. It is a story about the amazing lengths people go to if someone is special to them. And it is a story about love. A love more encompassing and vaster than an ocean that knows no shores, a love whose fire rivals that of the deepest depths of Hell._

_It is the story of my strong, beautiful dancer…how we fell in love…and how I came to dance.”_

~*~*~*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done! XD For the last time, please leave me some love and let me know what you think of this chapter! 
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> -JayGirl <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I'll post the second chapter soon! ;-)   
> -JayGirl


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